Nov 20, 2023
This is a cool little story! It’s always good to practice! :D
Since you asked for feedback, my main response is that it feels like an outline so far. You have all the events here written out, but they’re a bit ‘grocery list’ at the moment. It's sort of like a director describing a fight scene moment-to-moment so that an animator can figure out the exact order of what’s happening. But because it’s such a detailed list, the actions feel stiff. It’s like I’m reading a textbook summary of a fight scene, rather than watching a cool battle play out in my head.
But since this was just for practice, you are still in the outlining phase! 👍 So it means with editing, you can make this fight scene really outstanding.
Some next steps to try: vary up the sentence structure, give some emotional impact to Nora’s injuries, and include more sensory descriptors. “Show, don’t tell” is very much the key here.
One example: right now, as readers we’re told that a shockwave “burst Nora’s ear drums and ruptured her organs.” SHOW me how this impacts her! Show me how she struggles to deal with the pain, and what it feels like. How does Nora know her organs are rupturing? I can’t even begin to imagine this level of agony, it’s almost unspeakable! Really showing the living side to the fight through emotions and behaviors (instead of just actions alone) can change things -- and not just from Nora, but the dragon's reactions too! Things like that can give some more life and spice to the scene! 
best of luck!!
I know it's a bit of a speedy start for a romance, but I was aiming for a hook to keep the pages turning and get things going! :D
