Nov 14, 2023
I was going to ask how Honoka and Mami managed to move out legally (wasn't sure if Honoka was old enough to rent an apartment) but an Aunt taking them in works out!
I don't think the aunt could get custody in just two weeks though. (Custody battles often are a long and lengthy process that goes to court and can take months/years.) BUT, I do think it's believable that Honoka and Mami could move in with their Aunt right away, and then work on the custody legalities later over time.
But now it's a fresh start for them! Mami and Honoka can start to recover in a safer household, and Mami can begin to make friends. I'm a little sad Mami left her chuuni fantasies behind ;w; but I hope that means she's overcoming her trauma, rather than giving up her love of fantasy novels and characters!
And now, finally back where it all began, a love confession! A cute ending, and a new beginning for Mami and Makoto! ❤️❤️❤️
I feel like I've left most of my feedback for this story in my individual chapter comments as I went along 👍
From reading your comment replies, I think you know what you need to work on in terms of writing. Editing and better pacing would greatly improve this. I think overall this novel needed more time. But this was a short 3-month contest, and finding the time to write can be a challenge!
So congratulations on completing this story and making it into the finals! You wrote a complete story and saw it through to the end, and that's worth being proud of! 👏👏👏 Also, English isn't your first language, and it's amazing that you wrote a novel that's not in your native tongue!! 
I honestly couldn't tell you weren't a native speaker! Please let me know if you're confused by any of my comments, because I might have used English slang here and there x) and I apologize if anything I wrote is hard to understand or translate.
But congratulations again! And best of luck in your future writing projects!
