Jun 11, 2023

Oof, asked out the childhood friend to be hit with the "sorry, I just don't have any interest in men." Totally respectable though and glad he handled it well and accepted her!

Curious if this strict student council pres is our new girl of interest?

Also I want to tell our MC to go talk to Fuyu again, because if a girl replies "you have options" when asked about romance, it's usually a hint 🤣

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Jun 11, 2023

Ah-hah! Lock picking! Wait. Haha okay gotta agree with Goda, maybe she might've deserved to be found by a staff employee. Still, got a squirtle out of the deal (if not the desired Charizard!)
Curious to find out why our heroine here has such decent lock picking skills 🤫 I'm definitely imagining Skyrim, though that's totally the wrong genre here 🤣

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Jun 11, 2023

Also One Fleece had me dying 🤣

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Jun 11, 2023

I love it!! I'm excited to see some more romcoms posted, because it's a genre near and dear to my heart. I totally feel for Goda getting the blame for his senpai pinned on him, especially coupled with having to use his single mom as part of the excuse 😞 here's hoping Goda gets back on the team. And also saves the girl!! How did Nakahara even get stuck in there? :O

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Jun 11, 2023

From psychology class to a beautiful girl! No doubt promises are going to be a reoccurring theme? ;) Curious to see what promises these two might make or break!

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Jun 11, 2023

I get some mysterious vibes from this opening. Is she a spirit? A ghost? A magical power? A memory? From the story bio, I thought at first she might just be someone on the other side of the hedge, but I get a more mystical vibe! I'm intrigued :D

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Jun 11, 2023

To:Kitsune

I realized I needed my main character to be a teensie bit of an impulsive idiot 🤣 otherwise he wouldn't go running after the plot! I usually write slower and more serious characters, but for the sake of comedy I hit poor Hiroyuki with the dumb baton. I hope he'll forgive me one day 🙏
Also thank you for checking this out! ☺️ I'm excited to share stories with all these awesome authors on here!

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Jun 11, 2023

To:Shulox

Thank you for taking the time to read this as well! ☺️ I appreciate it! I know it's a time commitment to read entries here and write new content, so I totally appreciate you stopping by! And intend to read more of your story too when I can. (I may or may not be trying to sneak in reading time while at work. Weekends are actually my busiest work days, but I know that's probably the most popular time for Honeyfeed.)

The Junpacalypse is here! Lol okay, I chose the name because it's a nice bridge between Japanese and English. It's a popular name, but I hope to do it proud.

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Jun 11, 2023

I really like that Ayaka is able to call out the main character on his inner monologues 🤣 that's so great! I think they have a really good chemistry

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Jun 11, 2023

Hoping our main character gets to experience fun and have some friends soon in the music club! :)

I would put a trigger warning at the start or in the story bio about suicidal ideation and self harm. These topics can really hurt other people (especially those struggling with them) so it would be good to put up a forewarning! 👍

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Jun 10, 2023

I'm a little late to jumping in here, but I'm digging this intro (is it bad to slightly ship Takashi and Jun? Hehehe. Alright, I know it's not that kind of story lol.) Hoping to catch up and read more when I have the time!

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Jun 10, 2023

To:verntlg

No worries, it happens to all of us (even when I'm sure ive triple checked my writing, I post it online and yep, immediately notice a typo.)
Looking forward to reading more!

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Jun 10, 2023

A quick intro, but an intriguing one! I feel like getting hit by the car happened so fast, it almost doesn't feel real! Maybe a bit more time showing the events around the accident might give it more impact?

Regardless, looking forward to more and hope you keep writing!

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Jun 10, 2023

In another comment you said you were inspired by Ascendance of a Bookworm, which I totally love that idea of bringing Earth-reality thought into a foreign world!! Also. I'm a fan of witch hats. (From my profile pic and novel art, can you tell? 🤣) Banzai chika!

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Jun 10, 2023

A nice start establishing the school, the characters, and the social hierarchy! I really liked the intro with the headphones.

Similar to Hoshino though, I did find the first person and third person usage to be confusing.
These are three examples that aren't in italics:
"before he could get up from [my] chair and escape"
"He was in [my] second year at this school"
"[I] am usually the one sent to collect lunch // He only came back with two sandwiches today"
(Was it I who went to collect lunch, or he? Or whom?? I'm confused lol)

So that's where I'm a little lost as a reader. The italic parts are totally fine!

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