Sep 22, 2019
To:James K.
Yup, I split this scenario in half for both the reasons you've stated. 👍
As for the word count, part 1 had around 4k words while this one had about 7k. Honeyfeed chapters could take about 8-9k depending on the words you use since we're talking about character limits.
With Lucas having a personality I feel is not so common with Shounen Protagonists, I gave the classical archetype to Davis but also tried to include reasons why he behaves this way. In the case of him saving the blond man, a common Shounen trope is that the hero will save those in trouble, even if they don't know them. They do this because of the goodness in their hearts or simply because it's the right thing to do. As I said in this chapter, that's an admirable trait, but I want to try and make my characters as human as possible to the best of my current level. Davis only saved the blond man out of not wanting to be left feeling guilty for abandoning someone he established a connection with, even if a tiny one. If Davis were to see the blond man getting attacked by the hooligans from a distance and without prior interaction with any of them, it would've been easy for him to ignore them without any hindering effects. It's a little dark but I think most of us think in a similar way whether we want to admit it or not.
Now then, let's move on to Davis' fighting style. I've already established in the first Volume that he works in his family's equipment business as a blacksmith/weapon designer, so he's handled weapons before and he also has to test them out if he wants to make sure they're of good quality. He actually prefers swords over guns because the former is easier to keep away from accidentally hurting others. Plus, swinging a sword makes him feel more like an Isekai protagonist dropped into a fantasy world.
While he can handle a gun, Davis is no expert and would rather not use them. This is why he uses a shotgun since that means he can simply point and shoot instead of aim for a specific spot. He's more likely to miss if he used a handgun or even a sniper.
Kevin and his hooligan friends were my intended Jojo references. Just like how you suspected it to be part 5 reference, I based their kinship on those of
Squadra Esecuzioni. Looking back, I realize I made them too similar to a fault with them hating their boss, mourning the deaths of two deceased members, and the leader hinting a close relationship with them by being the last to leave the corpses behind. I just wanted to practice writing a case of showing without much telling in a short scene that makes their characterizations clear and I hope to do that again except with more ideas that I could come up with on my own.
I'm glad Fenris has the effect on you, so far! I made him a silent character mostly because I want him to speak through his actions. Logen will fill the role of a villain who runs his mouth.
If you ever remember what the Wolfsbane reminded you off, feel free to let me know once you do!
I honestly didn't realize my story had been flowing the way you described. It's my first work after all, and I just keep trying to outdo myself with every succeeding chapter. Still, I think the flow works for the overall narrative as well now that I think about it. Volume 1 was a long intro so the storytelling was simple and worked like training wheels to get you started. Volume 2 is the beginning of things getting crazier, so more side-plots are coming along, new concepts come to light, and the story itself, in general, becomes more complex (but not too complex, I hope!) 😆
