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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.
Oct 12, 2025
To:Deleted User
In your defense, that was a lot more obvious before I added all the omake chapters to the end.
To:Mai
Hopefully in a good way. 😉
To:FireFly Seia
That's actually a typo. It should be "Mayday". Thanks for catching that.
As for the other two, those get explained in time.
Oct 04, 2025
Usually I comment, "congrats on finishing," at the end of a novel, but considering the MC of this one, I'll avoid the double entendre.
Sep 28, 2025
You're about 1000 words short of the minimum word requirement for the contest, and there's just over a day left before the deadline.
You might already be aware, but I wanted to message you in case you weren't. Honeyfeed can count words slightly differently than word processors.
Sep 15, 2025
Huh, interesting that some people actually get a choice. I bet the MC would have appreciated one.
Sep 10, 2025
You can tell it’s fiction because no one would ever request Fablefence in real life, not even kids.
Sep 07, 2025
It just struck me that the MC gives me Patrick Stewart “but I’ve seen everything” vibes.
Sep 05, 2025
I enjoy a good macaron, but maple bacon seems like a nonbo with the texture.
What if the teenager’s bedroom is on a submarine? Now that I think about it, that seems like it should have been the setup for a 1960s sitcom.
Anyway, congrats on grossing me out.
Aug 29, 2025
The guy from the movie company logo?! He’s famous!
Jun 21, 2025
To:Kitsune
And they were right to want him gone, IMO.
Jun 20, 2025
How inspiring. This story taught me that sacrificing oneself for BL is the most noble sacrifice one could make. I aspire to do so one day.
Jun 19, 2025
The imagery of the Swallows was a fantastic touch. I really gotta up my GL games if I want to compete with this.
Jun 15, 2025
To:haru
My stories are full of old references because I am old.