Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

14 Following

34 Followers

Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

Roles

Author

Badge

bronze

What is Badge?

Achievement

What is an Achievement?

Report this user

Comments

Mar 24, 2024

To:Kirb

Whether they love it or hate it, most of my readers commented on that line. One of those moments as a writer where I felt I did something right.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:10

Mar 15, 2024

You know it's fiction because it's about a small business about to make a large profit in this economy.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:78

Mar 08, 2024

Nice job getting a chapter out for IWD. I didn't even consider doing anything myself, and then you mentioned it in, and I thought, "Dang, that's a great idea. Wish I'd thought of it."

(Not Exactly) In Search Of An Oasis

Chapter:6

Feb 26, 2024

That’s an interesting setup for the sword.

Charon's Legacy: The Clockwork Oracle

Chapter:2

Feb 22, 2024

I gotta appreciate how difficult it is to come up with an alternate universe name for Naruto. Not like you can use Boruto.

But then you did a good job with Lain though. And she got it exactly right. Lain plugs herself into computers and fights crime in cyberspace. (It does seem kind of unusual that she’s seen Bebop and not Lain.)

Middle School MxM still seems super skeevy though.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:74

Feb 15, 2024

To everyone else, I assume Haruka just comes off as chuuni?

This is how I end

Chapter:1

Feb 14, 2024

This seems familiar. Did you maybe post an earlier version of this before?

The Anime Club

Chapter:1

Feb 13, 2024

As someone who enjoys the rain (from inside, when it gets too intense), I thought that was a great description of the rain starting, and then becoming a downpour.

When My Ex-Girlfriend Came For a Visit, It Was Raining.

Chapter:1

Feb 13, 2024

The politics aren't really important except as a look into Erika's past. She wanted to work for the chief, who was then a general in the army, was considered too weak for the mahou shoujo corps, and pawned off on an intelligence service everyone thought was inept. She was unsuccessful at love, and came to feel that nobody truly valued her. Even so, she managed to leave Naichou after the war and enter the police force, where she could at least be useful to, if not valued by, the chief she looked up to.

And yes, that's supposed to be days. Thanks for catching that.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:26

Feb 11, 2024

Really makes me feel sorry for Senjuuin. Even if she was terrible to others, she's still just a teenager. Nice job on that swerve at the ending though. Didn't see it coming.

That third paragraph definitely activated by GL goggles.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:72

Feb 07, 2024

Complex numbers started getting serious study in the mid-1500s. The Honnouji Incident was in 1582. Maybe Akechi Mitsuhide was just really angry at how complicated math was getting.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:71

Jan 21, 2024

Hey, welcome back. I was actually thinking about this story just the other day. Glad to see you're continuing it.

And in typical fashion, you're introducing more characters with more family drama. I don't mean that as a criticism. There's a lot of potential with this kind of development.

I've got one suggestion that might be worth keeping in the back of your mind when writing. It's something I struggle a lot with myself, so it's on the top of my mind.

When writing in first-person, it's really easy to fall into treating the character as a passive narrator. I think it might be nice to see more of Shun's emotions in reaction to his brother returning and finding out he's an uncle.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:67

Jan 21, 2024

Very solid opening. The prose flowed well, and I think the pacing was much improved from volume 1. Looking forward to seeing where this storyline goes.

Tetraprisma: Backtrack

Chapter:1

Jan 21, 2024

Now that my life is back to normal, I'm back to commenting on HF stories.

Again, I still find myself liking this side-storyline quite a bit. It's very much a shame about the real-world circumstances, but this was still written well. I also appreciated the search and rescue story compared to the military story, especially the part with the cat.

(Not Exactly) In Search Of An Oasis

Chapter:5

Jan 21, 2024

To:JB94

Definitely. It's very difficult, and I think a lot of people who gave them crap during the livestream didn't really understand that.

I actually wrote three different endings for this chapter. I'm glad I didn't have to use the worst one.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:25

Steward McOy

Novels

Gallery

Comments