Aug 01, 2023
To:Bubbles
Thank yo so much for the constructive feedback. You mentioned something similar when you read the previous chapter (I took notes), and I did try to increase the ratio of showing to telling in the subsequent chapters I wrote, but I didn't always succeed. It's not because your advice was bad or because I was ignoring it, but rather, I think it's a skill issue on my part.
There are a few reasons I keep falling into it, often not even noticing until one of my readers points it out.
- I'm trying to keep all the chapters short.
- I'm trying to emulate the Ascendance of a Bookworm LN here, and that writer does the fast-paced summarization a lot. Like to the point that it bothers me as a reader. I read some stuff and go, "Hey, hey, that's incredibly cool. Don't just skip over that. Give be more details." But that series also currently has 32 volumes, so they have a lot of story to get through.
- When I don't summarize, I feel it's harder to get Thelian's perspective in there. Otherwise, he's just kinda like a camera, relaying events to the reader. This one's definitely a skill issue on my part, because I should be able to make him a compelling character without it.
- Somewhat related, I'm writing in first-person perspective, and I just need to have some kind of framing narrative for it. Like the reader and Thelian are having dinner together, and Thelian is telling the reader about his life. Otherwise, first-person perspective just doesn't make sense to me. It's the same reason I don't like to write in present tense. And I guess the summarization bits feel more conversational. It's how someone would tell the story over dinner. This is definitely a personal hangup of mine.
That said, I did make an effort, and I think I improved somewhat, at least in some of the chapters. I definitely fell off in the latest couple though. I am really thankful for the advice. I will continue to work on improving.
