Aug 05, 2021
To start off, I just have to say that this work has exceeded my expectations, by far. I had high hopes, this being on the leaderboard and all (not mad, I swear), but they were blown away. This is probably my second favorite story I've read on here, and objectively the best one, I'm just too biased towards anything containing basketball.
Starting with the strengths, which encompass pretty much everything. The characters are the thing that stood out to me from the beginning. They all feel unique and extremely fresh. Kai is probably the best example of this. we see an in-depth glimpse into her psyche, seeing why she acts the way she does. You make the reader relate with her and her struggles in an increadable fashion. She acts standoffish, and a bit reserved, but not in an over edge sense. She has weaknesses and strengths. she feels like a real person, which is incredibly impressive. It's the same for all the other characters too. we can relate to Trish especially. All of us know someone like her (or are that person)
She feels just as real as Kai. I could 100% see her at my university, she would fit right in. Characters are well rounded, with strengths and weaknesses, and are the opposite of the Mary and Gary sues that populate honeyfeed.
The plot is also exceptional. The way we're fed info about the game little by little is masterfully crafted. It keeps the suspense and mystery, answering questions by creating more questions. The villains are evil, and we can see their motivations, and add to the plot, rather than just being a plot device.
Now onto what is in my opinion your greatest strength, and weakness. The philosophy. The major issues with the philosophy are mainly located at the beginning, especially in the first four chapters. some of the philosophy is not necessarily what a priest would believe, some of it is spot-on while some of it is way off the mark, especially for the catholic church. The only example I can think of on the top of my head is when the priest is talking about how God doesn't mind those who think bad as long as they have good actions, which is flip-flopped in modern Christian/catholic philosophy. (though some denominations would disagree with that, especially certain forms of evangelical Christians). there are a few more examples, but by chapter four, I didn't really notice any, maybe one or two spots.
however, it is also your greatest strength. Here I'm talking about the character's philosophy, especially Kai's. we see her viewpoint and philosophy, especially when she is debating with Paul. her philosophy is consistent, and she brings up good points, that it would make sense for her to have. We see the philosophy of Trish, Paul, and others as well. you make it easy to follow, and reason it out. Their philosophies are also well aligned to who they are, and you can reason out the reasoning behind them.
Overall though, this is an incredible novel. The flaws are minor, and most of my other nitpicks have already been pointed out by other reviewers (re; bubbles). Even with them, they don't distract from the things that really matter, the characters and the story. Good luck, cant wait to mean more, and you got at vote if you make the top 50
