otkrlj / Comments

otkrlj

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No. 1 Kirby fan

Business: otkrlj6@gmail.com

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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aaa

Aug 28, 2021

To:Arrhythmia

Thanks a ton!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:5

Aug 26, 2021

To:Bryce

Thanks. Glad you liked it!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:0

Aug 25, 2021

To:Han-SC

Thanks for saying so! Honestly, it's just practice. the more I've typed, the better my prose had become, and I still have a way to go. Glad you like the story!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:21

Aug 25, 2021

To:Han-SC

Thanks. Too many kirito's in the world. We need more Kazuma's imo

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:2

Aug 22, 2021

To:jadeblade10

Yo thanks a ton!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:18

Aug 20, 2021

To:JEID3N_0110

Glad you think so! Hope you like whats to come!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:1

Aug 20, 2021

To:JEID3N_0110

Thanks at ton!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:0

Aug 20, 2021

Hmm... interesting start.
I feel like the story itslef has some promase, but a few execution issues.
The biggest one is probabilly grammar. I feel like it needs to just be run through grammarly, fixing some of the compehention and spelling issues.
Another thing is the formatting. The style you use is uniqe, reminding me of a play script. The only other webnovel i can think of like this re:zero, and it works great there, so i think it just needs refind a bit. Maybe only include the name if its dialoge, and just say something like "souta thought"
Overall though, i like the story itself, and thats thr most important part. Maybe practice revising your work, and i think you could have something here

Objection

Chapter:1

Aug 19, 2021

To:kazesenken

yeah, 100% agree. Need to find the time to rewrite this lol. Thanks for reading!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:0

Aug 19, 2021

To:August

who knows whats happening anymore lol

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:19

Aug 15, 2021

Thought I posted this yesterday, but apparently my wi-fi said no, so I'm going to be missing a few things I would have said (like 3/4).
To start off, this is still incredible, and I loved every second. Reading every chapter was something I looked forward to, and they did not disappoint. The philosophy, something I'm somewhat passionate about, is great, and I still loved it, even the parts where I disagreed. overall, great novel, and congrats on finishing it.
now to read vorlando magic

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:40

Aug 15, 2021

Great chapter. Liked the tone it contained, helpd it feel more complete.

UnCrowned

Chapter:9

Aug 14, 2021

To:August

Naw fam. Completely normal

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:17

Aug 11, 2021

Great Chapter! Also, can I just say that the new cover is incredible? Cant wait to read more.

The Life of Death

Chapter:13

Aug 09, 2021

To:Deleted User

You should be... (thanks for reading btw)

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:15

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