otkrlj

otkrlj

No. 1 Kirby fan

Business: otkrlj6@gmail.com

registered at: Jun 26, 2021
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    Achievement
    Thumbs up Level 5
    Comments Level 6
    Published Novel Level 4
    Published Chapter Level 6
    Novel Cover Upload Level 3
    Community Level 1
    Time(Daily access) Level 6
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2021
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2022
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2023
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2024
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2025











    Sep 09, 2021

    just to start out, this story blew all my expectations away. I was expecting some random slice of life, like most of the entries in who needs plot. boy was I wrong. This story is incredible, with its characters and plot flowing smoothly from the beginning to the end. now to start the review.
    Switching it up and starting with the worldbuilding. There are two segments to the world, the room of instruments and the outside world. Starting with the room of instruments, I feel like you do an incredible job giving it life. it always felt unique and mysterious, making me want to know more. the way more things were found about the room slowly, and how you described the rules of the room flowed well too. For the outside, the descriptions used were magnificent. You do a great job letting us know the situation outside, without directly stating it. I also feel like you do a great job filling the world with great characters.
    Speaking of characters, your cahractors are all amazing as well. you do a great job making them feel unique and realistic, while also giving them somewhat of a fantastical element. Arya in particular feels masterfully crated to me, whether the two parts (for lack of a better word) of her feeling unique, but connected, and you do a great job explaining and giving theories about her. I also love the MC of the novel. you can really relate to them, and every step they take is thought out. Also love how you describe their emotions, and journey, with them slowly becoming more and more human. Overall, all 4-ish main characters are great, and I feel like they helped the story and make it incredible.
    When it comes to the plot, I loved every moment. with a mystery better than most novels in "the clock strikes midnight" you keep the reader invested with the twists and turns while keeping the novel very character-driven.
    Overall, I loved this novel. I feel like it does everything really well, with no huge weak points. at times the descriptions go on a bit too long for me, but that's 100% a tiny nitpick about a novel that I had a blast reading. Great job with the book, and good luck!

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    1
    Crescendo at the End of the World
    Chapter:24

    Sep 09, 2021

    Ok, review time!👍
    I don't think this will be too long, mainly because most of what I wanted to say was already said in the reviews on your earlier chapters.
    Starting out with the plot. it was average. nothing really stood out to me, and it all soft of flowed together. some of the stories seemed to be leading somewhere interesting t times, but it was hard to follow along with, though aft of this was due to different issues.
    Characters seemed average as well. they all seemed somewhat unique, but all flowed together near the middle, making it hard to tell them apart. a ton of the dialogue seemed somewhat dull, making the tory have a sense of dullness around it.
    when it comes to worldbuilding, this is where most of the problems lie imo. The descriptions and word choice are all increably dull, making the story a slog to get through. This leaks into everything else, making the story not as enjoyable. Its the same for all the magic tools. their interesting in premis, and some of them re pretty creative, but the execution of them is not very well made. its confusing what they all do, and their purpose is not clearly defined. while worldbuilding is the lest important of the street main elements of a story (worldbuilding, characters, and plot,) I feel like here, it works in the detriment of the other two, making them worse than they should me.
    overall like reviews before me have said, it just sounds dull, like reading a Wikipedia article. I feel like with a wider variety of word choices and better-explained magic/magic items, this could be pretty good. Great job finishing, and I'm out!😀

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    0
    The Hero's Shadow
    Chapter:15


    Generic cover concept
    I Work in the Anime Industry and Everybody Hates Me!
    Chapter:10