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otkrlj

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No. 1 Kirby fan

Business: otkrlj6@gmail.com

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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Aug 31, 2021

This chapter made me laugh out loud. I uhh... really liked the direction, for multiple reasons...

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:21

Aug 31, 2021

Anime peaked with a toothbrush scene.

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:18

Aug 31, 2021

I want to see Snazzy cooking now. Loved the cliffhanger!

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:6

Aug 31, 2021

Ok, not going to lie, didn't see this coming lol. Great work.

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:2

Aug 30, 2021

To:Deleted User

Thanks a ton! I've had a ton of fun writing this over the last two months. I am glad you've enjoyed it, and I am glad that people have enjoyed my work. I cant wait to hopefully write more. Thanks for reading!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:23

Aug 30, 2021

To:August

I really glad you think it turned out well. Writing a whole book in two months was an experience, but I'm glad that it's complete. Thanks a ton for sticking with me and reading my story.

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:23

Aug 28, 2021

To:Arrhythmia

Thanks a ton!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:5

Aug 26, 2021

To:Bryce

Thanks. Glad you liked it!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:0

Aug 25, 2021

To:Han-SC

Thanks for saying so! Honestly, it's just practice. the more I've typed, the better my prose had become, and I still have a way to go. Glad you like the story!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:21

Aug 25, 2021

To:Han-SC

Thanks. Too many kirito's in the world. We need more Kazuma's imo

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:2

Aug 22, 2021

To:jadeblade10

Yo thanks a ton!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:18

Aug 20, 2021

To:JEID3N_0110

Glad you think so! Hope you like whats to come!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:1

Aug 20, 2021

To:JEID3N_0110

Thanks at ton!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:0

Aug 20, 2021

Hmm... interesting start.
I feel like the story itslef has some promase, but a few execution issues.
The biggest one is probabilly grammar. I feel like it needs to just be run through grammarly, fixing some of the compehention and spelling issues.
Another thing is the formatting. The style you use is uniqe, reminding me of a play script. The only other webnovel i can think of like this re:zero, and it works great there, so i think it just needs refind a bit. Maybe only include the name if its dialoge, and just say something like "souta thought"
Overall though, i like the story itself, and thats thr most important part. Maybe practice revising your work, and i think you could have something here

Objection

Chapter:1

Aug 19, 2021

To:kazesenken

yeah, 100% agree. Need to find the time to rewrite this lol. Thanks for reading!

The Swordmaster and the New God

Chapter:0

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