James K.

James K.

Just another major weeb that loves anime and has an unending list of PTW
Also a pro memester

Hope you enjoy reading my novels! (Currently working on just "I Can Hear Your Thoughts, but it's not like I'm Telling You or Anything!")
I'm always looking forward to reading all kinds of unique stories on the site, even more now that it's taken off in popularity!

Find me on RoyalRoad too!
https://royalroad.com/profile/81874

You thought this was the end of my bio, but it was me, a Dio referen—
Jk it's actually the end

registered at: Jan 27, 2017
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    Time(Daily access) Level 5




    Mar 14, 2018

    To:Jio Kurenai

    Thank you so much, Jio! As I told Gerry as well, it feels like I've been part of this community for more than a mere year, but I honestly can't believe it's been this long already (not that I am one to talk when you and Gerry have been here longer than I have xD)!

    That aside, I was actually experimenting with a different style to deliver the events this time, which as you understood was an attempt for an approach that seemed closer to real life than the previous chapters! It was kind of risky, but I hope it wasn't a trainwreck!

    Also, I didn't think it'd seem like Taichi's parents have no tact at all, haha! I thought his father would seem more down-to-earth than his mother, especially showing when he tries so hard to put up with his wife's childish side (although both of them are actually pretty serious and tactful at heart). All in all, I was trying to make the difference in their personalities distinct enough, since having both of them be serious in their introductions wouldn't really help achieve that.

    And you're welcome for the dish lesson! I have to confess I really wanted to pull off a scene like yours when Rio had cooked for Lucas, because I could just barely stop myself from drooling with all those exquisite descriptions, so I'm honestly curious as to who the one teaching is xD
    And since I don't want to leave you hanging: I can most definitely assure you that this kind of lamb roll (not roast, you might have mixed the two up xD) exists, and it's actually one of my favorite dishes! I did spice it up a bit, truth be told, but it is possible to make it that way too! Nevertheless, I'm really glad you liked it, so many hours of research on recipes have paid off, it seems!

    On the topic of Fukuda, she isn't indeed 100% Japanese! I mentioned in her introduction that her name was Eva, but I didn't say anything about her binationality. I don't want to spoil her secord nationality yet, so I'll just say that there will be a chapter dedicated to that later on!

    And yeah, I've played ''The Beginner's Guide'' too! Honestly, I still don't understand if the story is based on true events or not, and at this point I couldn't care less, because what I do know is that it completely devastated me. If it is real, I feel unimaginably sorry for both the creator and his friend. If it's not and it's a figment of his imagination, I can only applaud him and tip all of my hats to his terrific mindset for coming up with something that ingenious! Man, the way he delivers everything, how he makes you just focus on the game entirely and dive into the sea of thinking he wants you to dive in so that you can find yourself in the characters' shoes...he really knows how to keep you immersed! Both these works of his are really something I could really take some inspiration from, haha!

    Anyways, I'm glad you tuned in once more and I really hope to see you out of this tough phase soon enough, you can't imagine just how much I can relate to your situation, mate XDD

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    cover-default
    I Can Hear Your Thoughts, but it's not like I'm Telling You or Anything!
    Chapter:12

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    I Can Hear Your Thoughts, but it's not like I'm Telling You or Anything!
    Chapter:12


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    I Can Hear Your Thoughts, but it's not like I'm Telling You or Anything!
    Chapter:2



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    I Can Hear Your Thoughts, but it's not like I'm Telling You or Anything!
    Chapter:4

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    Afterlife Airport
    Chapter:1

    Jan 20, 2018

    First and foremost, I can undoubtedly say that you have an extremely promising concept in your hands! It's been a while since a novel hit me in the feels sufficiently enough to feel some melancholy, and that's the case with your story! The synopsis definitely sets up the right mood to expect such an atmosphere, and the chapters themselves barely do its brilliant execution justice!

    The characters, despite Nagase being the main focus of the story, feel realistic and have depth, so the story has a nice flow thanks to them. Nagase, however, is really the one that steals the spotlight here. You've managed to set up this mysterious, intriguing and appealing aura around her that makes her stand out. In the 1st chapter that was just a hunch with all the scattered hints, but now that you've put a physical condition on the table, it's more than clear! (The cliffhanger is killing me, even though I'm 99% sure I understood what it is!!)

    As much as I did love all these aspects of the story, I believe that it still needs a few amendments to portray its true charm.
    The first one is some small syntactic errors (i.e. a lack of commas in a handful of parts, especially during dialogues and a couple missed full stops), but that barely affected the reading experience, personally; paying attention to these makes the novel look and feel more pleasing for the reader, though!
    Also, while you near perfectly describe and convey how the characters feel, the imagery, contrastingly, feels weak and monotonous. I did mention that the characters help the story flow nicely, but having dialogue take up most of the chapter makes it hard to imagine where the events take place. It's obvious that you are more than able to write down what you portray in mind, so you could, for instance, spend a couple lines on the appearance of a character to help create an overall image of them for the viewer, or maybe some more lines to describe a landscape or Nagase's room, or to emphasize the importance of a moment, to be more specific. That way, the story will feel more complete, the imagery will be more vivid and easier for the reader to imagine, and subsequently, they will become more immersed into it!

    All in all, while some apparent issues exist here and there, that didn't prevent me from enjoying this wonderful story, even when considering it's just 2 chapters long as of now! Always having in mind that you're a new writer, you will definitely manage to make it even more fantastic than it already is if you stay passionate about it! I'm really excited to see what will happen next and where you're planning to head with the story, so I want to keep up with it until it ends! Wishing you best of luck on the next chapter!

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    Every Night Has a Star
    Chapter:2



    Jan 07, 2018

    Welp, it seems you were on fire to release chapters during Christmas vacation, weren't ya? xD
    Not that it's a bad thing at all! If anything, it was actually more than just enjoyable binge-reading the 4 chapters I hadn't caught up with!

    I can undoubtedly say that your story has become a lot more entertaining with every chapter! The light and comedic atmosphere is definitely one thing that has really taken a huge leap! I like the fact that you don't spend too much time on Akari and Yoichi (who I assume are the main focus, given how grand you've made the competition seem), but give time to Danzo, Koutaro, and of course, Sacchi!, to develop at an equal rate! Especially in this chapter, you balanced the Sacchi and Koutaro-centered part with the Yoichi one impeccably! The narration and dialogue felt so smooth and natural that they remained interesting throughout!

    The characters have grown a lot on me as well. The first couple chapters probably weren't enough to justify that, but now I'm sure that they all definitely have a lot of potential to become super fantastic! Giving the spotlight to one or two at the time seems to be the perfect thing this novel needed to give them depth, and I'm sure that this will help convey their feelings to the reader a lot as the story goes on!

    If there's something that bothered me, it would be that I couldn't really see a lot of imagery in these 4 chapters, but seeing how you've developed your characters, it's only a matter of time until you master that too, I believe!

    All in all, you have improved unimaginably since the 2nd chapter, if you ask me! It's obvious that you know now how to capture the reader with the characters and the story and all their details, so make sure to keep that up! I frankly can't wait for the next chapter, so best of luck on it!

    And before I forget, happy (and kinda late) New Year!!

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    Hopespring
    Chapter:6