Nov 24, 2021
Intriguing ending. Always a pleasure to read your work!
This line here: "A couple of germs never hurt anyone."
:) Really?
Here's some extra feedback I hope you find helpful:
"one of buff ->actions<- heroes"
—> "action"
"the night was and should be eternal, as it should."
Sounds a little off
"This was the climax. The enemy had their backs against the wall."
It took a while for me to figure out what "The climax" was referring to. The transition from the couple's thoughts back to the movie was unclear.
"To shut their eyes meant that night will depart and light will arrive unto a day where ->bibles<- and exalted ->signing<- will take root and wash this moment into the depths of their memories."
"bibles" —> "Bibles" (probably)
"signing" —> "singing"
"With that detour now behind them, they could now go back to the next movie she had chosen for them to watch next."
Could be rewritten as: "With that detour now behind them, they could go back to the movie she had chosen for them to watch next."
"He stated that how sunlight was appearing."
Incomplete sentence?
Hope some of this made sense lol. Typos aside, the rest are just personal opinions.
