Apr 13, 2025
alr so having read this far i feel like ive gauged your style pretty well. heres what i have to say:
humor and interactions are great. you make me laugh with your matter-of-fact way of laying down info and jokes
BUT
i feel like this often overlaps with the actual relevant information that progresses the plot. i find myself reading over what seems to be a joke or something that could just be less-important banter, and then being like "wait what happened" and having to go back and reread. it could just be my reading skills but its just really easy to confuse banter with actual content.
dont get me wrong i like what ive read so far and i feel that your story does benefit from that matter-of-fact tone, but it also has its drawbacks. if you can somehow find a way to separate that from the actual parts where you want the reader to especially be paying attention on then i think youll be golden
