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Workaholic

If I enjoy a novel, I barge in the comments section to show appreciation

I am currently a regular in the honeyfeed fm official discord group, feel free to drop in and say hi (I'm friendly, usually) :)

registered at: Jul 19, 2021

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aaa

Jul 23, 2021

Dolly had a whirlwind of emotions come out in this chapter. Shit, I said something I shouldn't, brat not now when she shoved Noah away, how could you betray Master when confronting her older sister Netty and being forced to make a tough decision, follow her directive and be the good daughter/creation, or live freely like Netty who is the bad/wild child). Noah has grown on her, but 1 day is certainly not enough to override the programming she is operating on. It's cool you have her procrastinate on it by getting into what happened.

I really appreciated the depth of this conflict expressed in such a funny manner. I can imagine for Noah, who is going through major shock, it must be hard for him too (especially if he has fallen for Dolly)

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:3

Jul 23, 2021

To:Pearlyn.M

you did change it to Humanity shrank dramatically which is vague but it gets the point across.

If you plan to unravel it later its fine. The only reason I bothered me is I couldn't feel what the character was feeling and I lost the otherwise immersive reading experience. I was feeling left out on the good stuff of the story 😭

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:1

Jul 23, 2021

I really enjoyed Noah being a gentleman and a mentor to Dolly, and being funny at the same time with the teasing. He went to help her against the tough fight, helped her sleep comfortably and started teaching her social etiquette.

The only thing that really bothered me in this chapter was the dialogue where Noah called Dolly's master an introvert. There are conflicting definitions of the word introvert which certainly causes confusion, but there is such a thing as shy extrovert, just as there are outgoing introverts (which I happen to be). "Reserved", "tight-lipped" or even "shy" would better convey the meaning.

I apologize if I sound like I'm whining, but I personally do take offense when people just assume every introverted person is shy.

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:2

Jul 22, 2021

The premise is certainly interesting, and I love how the cover art already clear in the story.

Your synopsis says 98% of humanity, yet you have half the population here (which is a big difference). You used the smell of Death multiple times, I would have appreciated a more descriptive to help me really know what that sensation really is at least one of the times. Is it decomposing corpses or a putrid breath that makes you want to throw up (literal smell)? Is it a rush of fear knowing you are going to die and its fight or flight (metaphorical)?

The smell of death is an abstract concept that can be wildly interpreted, and sometimes that can be a good thing, but if its a recurring theme in your story, its worth describing it as an experience I can visualize to really hook me in your work.

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:1

Jul 22, 2021

To:fujisprouts

the nice thing is, the midnight king explanation (when you get to that part of the story) is a perfect opportunity to delve into the world building

Midnight King

Chapter:7

Jul 22, 2021

To:fujisprouts

If its the social norm there, it means we might be different. It's only messed up if it deviates from the norm
(Unordinary is kinda similar to your premise, people beat each other up and no one is punished, Fallout is kill or be killed (pacifists usually end up killed))

Generally though, survival of the fittest societies have the premise for fighting and violence and its not wierd

Midnight King

Chapter:7

Jul 22, 2021

To:Emsora

you don't need to go so far as to rewrite the story just because one fan is adamant (I'm only one simple fan). If Zeya happens to be a genius/prodigy at using her power, having a breakthrough in the fight is fine. 👍

Karma

Chapter:4

Jul 22, 2021

Zeya, I'm proud of you. Anyone offering an opportunity like that is either in a cult, a pyramid scheme artist, or a religious fanatic at best. At worst, its a trap.

Will Zeya get caught going back home? How will school friends react when they find out she has negative points? What will her parents do when they find out? What will Haru think?

Find out in the next chapter of Karma, well maybe not the next chapter.

Karma

Chapter:5

Jul 22, 2021

Can an actually android feel an urge to vomit? Since Androids usually don't experience bio functions.

I would recommend another way to express the nauseating feeling for our female android mc, but otherwise a gem of a read for a reader like me

REALM ASSASSIN

Chapter:0

Jul 22, 2021

Damn good plot twist. The pretty boy who seems gentle was once the midnight King. Elias, I'm sorry I doubted you.

What kind of society is it that doesn't care about collateral damage to poor innocent bystanders (in fact people are just cheering for the winners), one where strength and fighting technique is what matters.

How will Honey adjust now that she is glimpsing that to become popular, she has to get her hands dirty (well, she actually wants to)? Will she still maintain the course after learning the tragedy that happened to Elias?

Find out in the next chapter of Midnight King.

Keep up the good work fuji

Midnight King

Chapter:7

Jul 22, 2021

Elias scares me, he's quite calculating to use Honey to repel the annoying flies who follow him everywhere especially only after 1 meeting.

Midnight King

Chapter:6

Jul 22, 2021

Superficial bitch who happens to be a badass fighter...and Misha still wants nothing to do with her (Misha I'm proud of you). I actually hope you keep Misha a pacifist if possible

Midnight King

Chapter:5

Jul 22, 2021

what kind of high school boys ignore a cute girl transfer student (no wait she had a cat call)? or is she one of those who thinks she is cute but actually gaudy and ugly to others? Or is it no one there knows what Sinstigram is? Or could it be they all saw what a douche she was knocking people over earlier?

Nice job filling my head with lots of questions with the writing.

Midnight King

Chapter:2

Jul 22, 2021

lol, superficial is enough of a reason to hate for me 😆, knocking people and helping up only those she thinks have Sinstigram that she wouldn't mind a following from

Midnight King

Chapter:1

Jul 22, 2021

what's awesome about this chapter is I as the reader have no idea what's going on. Is he in a dream, is this the beginning of Bentley's new life. The imagery is so colorful, the eerieness is strong, and I still have no idea if Bentley is insane or the world around him is.

Will Bentley ever get his wish of a Lemon Dinkie? Will Chrys ever give him answers? Find out in the next chapter of I failed as a Professional Baseball Player and Now have to fight otherworldly Monsters (well maybe not the next chapter).

I love how I can't figure out where the story is going. You do a great job of forcing me to stick close like a tour guide author-sama

I Failed As a Professional Baseball Player And Now Have To Fight Otherworldly Creatures With Nothing But a Baseball Bat

Chapter:5

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