Jul 29, 2021
The changes made to this chapter are good enough to identify it being massages and for me not depict something else like the previous version did.
Only 3 dissonance issues,
1. the hand over her mouth to suppress her moans and then the next sentence, nails in the sheets. Gramatically ,its correct but as I was reading, I'm like that's really fast hand motion.
2. Snazzy copping a feel and she fell forward to the stairs. Visually, I'm seeing her falling down the stairs, because classic inn stairs that aren't very big.
3. Taking off the blouse after she fell into the bed. Considering she is laying down, I don't see the blouse being that easy to remove compared to if he did it when she was standing and then pushing her into the bed
The chapter was very enjoyable and I laughed. Maribell got perfect revenge the next morning with her grimiore
