Aug 30, 2021
I'm going to disagree with TokyoFox250's opinion
It's clear from the amount of detail you are excited and have pretty ambitious plans with your story. I love good world building when done right. However, the amount of detail you share, how much of this is actually relevant throughout your story? Considering your story isn't in the Sci-Fi, genre, I would say only the advanced AI is as that is the only aspect that actually was used in this chapter of the story and a recurring theme since NPC's are super advanced.
The 4th gear, Hero Chronicles X feels more like a marketing commercial than a story. At one point of reading the technical details, I actually asked myself what am I reading and double checked the genre tags. What I would rather have had for the first chapter to make this much more interesting, is Hotaru's recollections as she comes up with her answers in response to the questions. That info would build her character and give world building at the same time. For example, what was the biggest thing she failed to achieve that she remembers? What changed her to go from nothing to keep calm and make reasonable actions?
The story has potential, but how many readers looking for a story you offer will not give this work a chance because you lead off with technical aspects that don't seem relevant to the overall story? Instead, save it for when it is important (nothing wrong with waiting until the opportunity in the story is ripe, gives readers stuff to fan theorize about)
