Workaholic / Comments

Workaholic

If I enjoy a novel, I barge in the comments section to show appreciation

I am currently a regular in the honeyfeed fm official discord group, feel free to drop in and say hi (I'm friendly, usually) :)

registered at: Jul 19, 2021

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aaa

Jul 30, 2021

echoing kaze's sentiments, the skills was hilarious. Maximum virility really made me laugh because usually that is used for sexual stamina, along with the supermarket and game.

Where did Uncle come from to punch out the annoying dude? I thought he was doing arts and crafts. Enang's self-preservation is getting her gears turning.

The only thing that bothered me this chapter was the seemingly shifting PoV's. It went from Enang to Enteng I was confused who I was following until the punch.

I give you credit, turning a mass panic scene into comedy is not an easy thing to do

Zero.

Chapter:9

Jul 30, 2021

Nooooo Enang. You've succumbed to the madness, and to think it was the fear of the new guy taking your place who pushed you over the edge. OTL

On a more serious note, didn't they only go through 2 houses and Uncle's place before this point of the story? Even under intense psychological pressure, I can't see Enang who was initially going to kill Enteng being psychologically dependent on him. That feels too sudden a jump for a time period of just a few hours, even with the constant feeling of fear of monster attacks as the backdrop

Zero.

Chapter:8

Jul 30, 2021

To think it was Enang who was the accidental founder of the George Cult. Guess you can't defy god.
She screamed internally was probably the most memorable line

Only thing I will caution is this chapter is quite heavy on the profanities. Granted, most teenagers do know the words, but excessive profanity is known to DQ a work from the all ages audience.

For example, the "Holy Shit..."x2 could be "Holy shit" Uncle and Enteng said in unison, one with eyes shining in amazement, the other eyes shining in rage. I suggest save profanity to convey extreme emotional reaction. It is usually more impactful than if you have it sprinkled everywhere. The Holy Shit... was a very good line

Zero.

Chapter:7

Jul 30, 2021

I'm confused as fudge about the uncle. I took it literally, then I thought they were like distant brothers from the bullying story, and now I'm like what kind of nickname sense is it? 😩

This is the first chapter that confirms this is a new world.

The misunderstanding of Enteng interpreting Enang's reactions is hilarious Poor Enang having to put up with 2 delusional people. One was bad enough. Will she succumb to madness, I really hope not. She is my favorite character

Zero.

Chapter:6

Jul 30, 2021

I'm actually grateful this chapter was written from Enang's perspective and that of everyone, she seems put together (despite all the tragedy she endured).

It's interesting that Enteng's crazyness delays her decision to exterminate him. I hope I understand later on why she was going to kill him originally (was it fear from him turning into one of those things)?

Zero.

Chapter:5

Jul 30, 2021

We finally get a grasp of the madness Enteng is dealing with as he copes with the loss of his family and he accepts his new reality.

Reading this story, I got the impression Enteng was back in his original world (and that the former human monsters was some kind of outbreak instead of an isekai, which to me would be more interesting).

If the girl is in her 20's even though Enteng is much older, she is actually a young woman/young lady (unless she was spoiled by her parents growing up).

I was a little confused about who is talking in the dialogue. I thought the "How did you know" was Enteng speaking to the girl and not the other way around until I reread the passage

Zero.

Chapter:4

Jul 30, 2021

To:Fuzzy Rabid Usagi

No, he's doing cactus powder. It's the power-up support from the angel/boss creature in the 1st chapter.

Gurg, the fight between Enteng and Benok was a bit confusing. He ignored his brain and muscles telling him to stop...Even though this is Enteng, it could have read like it was Benok (and if it was Benok, then its fine because that's how it reads)

The smashing like a pinata doesn't line up (to me at least) with a being headless corpse. If he bashed the head in, the head would still be there. But if the corpse has no head, it may be better to say he smashed the monster's head clean off.

Also, if the club can cut and sever, what's the problem?

Zero.

Chapter:3

Jul 30, 2021

I credit your amazing visualization, being able to see this in my head is proof the writing has me engaged. I'm not really clear on what kind of monster Benok is from the description (frog like with scales man, lizardman, dragonkin, or perhaps some other type with ripped muscles), but I'm sure you'll elaborate later on.

How will the man now equipped with wings of his family who don't want him to die fare against the monster?

Zero.

Chapter:2

Jul 30, 2021

The opening chapter is very detailed and it definitely compels me to want to learn more. However, it may be too gory and graphic detailed for an all ages (PG-13) audience (flesh stained walls, skin hanging ceiling, blood oozing). The war crimes edict from the "help" reminds me of summoned slaughterer which I personally thought went far too overboard (and that was not a YA work, but Mature)

Zero.

Chapter:1

Jul 29, 2021

To:kazesenken

Yep, 6" makes total sense. I was visualizing a 6" tiny jellyfish with meter long tentacles and somehow my brain though that didn't make sense. But it is magic for a reason