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Hi! I‘m Nika, nice to read ya! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I like to write cute stories about magic, friendship and adventure! ( ✿ •̀ ‸ •́ ✿ )
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Oct 10, 2023
I love the way you crafted this story, and the bittersweet feeling that remains. At first I wondered how the first part about Death's many forms connected to the second part, but you tied it wonderfully together. Definitely one of my favorite stories right now!
I love the diary form you used for the piece! You communicated the feelings really well, as well as the personality of the protagonist. I greatly enjoyed reading your story, thank you for writing it!
Great story. A great start, and I especially like the dialogue - I'm just left wondering how Sayuri sounds during the day. It also has a nice, open-ended conclusion. Thank you for writing!
Great story and beautiful cover. The christmas atmosphere was really tangible, and I think you portrayed both characters really well, especially Jinsei. Thank you for writing this beautiful piece.
Beautiful. I like the space setting, and your consistent use of the butterfly imagery - the story feels both sad and light. I really enjoyed reading it!
Nice story! I liked the spooky atmosphere, and especially the scene with her handing the coin to death. Your symbolism was nice and consistent, though I would have wished for a few more instances of you changing up the classic elements (like the image of Death with a cloak and scythe), but all in all, this was a really solid story that I enjoyed :D
To:Funsui
Thank you so much for your comment!
Oct 09, 2023
To:SamSerakawa
I'm really glad you enjoyed my story! Just to clarify: Apatheia and the 'you' in the story are two different people (Apatheia being the main character's 'childhood friend' and 'you' being someone the main character met later in life). Thank you for your lovely comment!
Sep 04, 2023
Ooooohh, he’s going to ask Toren for help! Everything to help Mia. Ahahaha, but poor Toren in the seahorse costume! I had already seen the fanart and wondered what that was about. I think you manage to strike a nice balance between serious and comedic moments. Oh, and a fist fight? Thankfully, Mia comes along before anything bad happens (I hope).
I love how you convey all the tender feelings you in this chapter – and it seems like Madam Claire‘s feelings towards Jun are a bit more complicated than he assumed at first. And what a nice mood you set afterwards with your descriptions! I wonder who is interfering… not just with the fruit trees, but also with everything else! Also, ‘the only thing I managed to shoot was my own pride’ - ouch, poor Roki! The end with the fireball was also very cute.
To:minatika
Aaaaah, thank you so much! I'm stilly behind on replying (I took a few days off the site after the end of the contest) but I'll try to reply to the comments in the following days
Aug 27, 2023
To:Deleted User
Thanks for following the story and commenting so far! I'm currently focused on finishing but I'll get back to your comments soon. Just know that I'm happy about your reaction to the last two chapters (does that sound bad? haha) as it's just what I hoped for. These two will have to work a little harder for their happy ending :)
Aug 22, 2023
Nanna certainly is bad at communicating her true feelings. With her, I'm going for more of an 'turning concern into anger' character archetype, but it might be difficult to portray her true intentions without her actual thoughts. Or to make her true intentions a bit more clear. It's another thing I wish to keep in mind when I do a future edit. After all, I wish to communicate my story as clear as possible. Thank you for commenting!
To:hmt5u
Nanna really is also not as good at communicating as she wants to appear to be... I'm glad you picked up on that. Also, I'm trying to also include the upsides her current form has, and flying is a fun one. Thank you for your comment!
Yup, I think we know enough about Nanna to understand why she had been cursed... and that she hasn't learned much yet. Thank you for your comment!
