Jul 25, 2022
Rin doesn't have that much dialogue tbh. It's mostly monologue and reflections from the main character.
If I were to rewrite this, instead of just saying "I talked with Rin" or something like that, I would convert the endless monologue into an actual conversation, where maybe Rin can ask questions, then Shinji would explain to her all the info.
Example, instead of "I explained to her the traitor theory", you could transfer the part where he explains the theory in his monologue to their conversation instead.
It would give off a more "in the moment" feel to it if you know what I mean.
I don't know if I've explained it well, but I tried my best. 😅
