Jul 26, 2022
I have some suggestions:
Stop describing her as flamboyant.
Like, don't even mention the word. Show, don't tell. You're already showing it quite well through her actions and mannerisms, so I would say it's unnecessary to keep telling the audience that she's flamboyant.
"Strikingly Good facial features and body features" could be improved here.
Instead of saying it like that, compliment her eyes and hair instead or describe her body shape. Does she maybe have a big-breasted body? Or does she have strikingly silver eyes and silky black hair? It's up to you to stimulate the reader's senses.
As long as it's not just a vague description of "good facial and body features"
