Jul 23, 2022

I'm starting to question the reality of this world you've built, which is probably a good thing since that's probably what you're trying to do. I can already see the psychological aspect of it.

Btw, "Kiro's pants were wracked with a vibration so powerful that they almost fell off" just sounds so wrong to me 💀 im such a child

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Jul 23, 2022

It's probably because I don't have the best memory, but it's hard to remember what Birch and Sally look like. I've literally read the first chapter just before and I already forgot.

Assuming that there are more readers like me, it's probably best to remind them what they look like, especially since they have some rather bizzare features that are unfamiliar to the norms.

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Jul 23, 2022

Hmm, great concept. This is like Zootopia, but with school, mythical creatures and an actual human being. Although it's probably more similar to Beastars.

However, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to imagine them as humanoid creatures with animal features or actual animals.

I will do my best to keep myself from saying Furr-

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Jul 23, 2022

The fact that Liehuo was only worried about Fenghuang watching says a lot about how much he liked Shannon's hug 😆

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Jul 23, 2022

Maybe the terrorists just want to have dates too.....

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Jul 23, 2022

Shuna sounds pretty cute....she's kinda like an air-headed yet talented type of waifu I assume.

Hopefully she can shoot people's hearts both literally and figuratively ❤️

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Jul 23, 2022

I'm not going to say much, but based on one of your comments here, I assume that you post the chapter immediately after writing it?

You should probably read/recheck it first before uploading....I believe it needed some edits. Although, you're probably planning on doing so.

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Jul 23, 2022

Tomoyuki already mentioned the info dumping, so I can only suggest splitting your paragraphs into smaller parts, it feels way too crampy.

Or spread it out naturally throughout different chapters when the information becomes relevant to the plot to make it seem more like a story rather than a high school science presentation.

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Jul 23, 2022

I agree, life is a game of choices. Where you make your OWN choices. Don't let others influence your heart, but you still consider what they have to say. It is up to you to decide whether to accept their wisdom or to reject their folly.

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Jul 23, 2022

I'm surprised Kaden didn't try very hard to stop her. Perhaps Joseph has some sort of other plan to convince Pyro and save her from whatever happens next?

I guess we'll just see what happens...

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Jul 23, 2022

Wait, I'm a little confused. The first thing notable about Kaden is his purple eyes, but then all of a sudden, his eyes are described to be brown.

Which one is it? Or do the colors switch from time to time?

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Jul 23, 2022

Phew, I almost thought you were going to describe the entire surgery process with her awake.

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Jul 23, 2022

I guess this explains why Pyro's able to have sex. Assuming that her reproductive system is still human, does that mean she can still get pregnant?

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Jul 23, 2022

Welp, this is screwed up. Imagine being taken away from your own body without consent and being forced to work as a mindless slave forever.

Where are the fries?

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Jul 23, 2022

Ooooh, spooky! What could be underneath the McMansion? An endless supply of Big Macs and French Fries?

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