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Short story guy forced to write long ones.
What is an Achievement?
Jun 14, 2023
As someone who hasnโt touched an instrument my entire life, I can say that Iโm hooked
Your style of detailed but smooth to read writing is something i definitely want to learn from. Be seeing Ichiro in the next chapters ๐ธ
Jun 12, 2023
The only thing off I'd say is the constant use of "I" at the start of the sentences in the chapter's beginning. This makes reading them a bit tone-deaf so maybe be a bit more flexible. Other than that, the rest of the chapter is smooth and perfect, especially the flow of dialogue between the two guys.
To:Christian Widjaya
Alright, I'll try to put more personality into the monologue and split it up as nice as possible. Thanks for the tip. ๐ธ
That's a very nice advice, thanks. My English teacher usually tells me the same actually lol.
The word choice seems a bit off here and there but the metaphor Raku used was on point and very emotion, nice first chapter ๐ธ
Imagine jumping in joy one second only to be put in reserve the next. I feel bad for Alex too :/
To:StorMiX451
Lol, I'd be the same If I were you.
Jun 11, 2023
"Age is just a number" "And jail is just a room." Nice one ๐๐
Sensing a bit of Makima vibes from Kiyoko lol. I also like the mysterious way you describe the room alot, keep it up ๐ธ
Jun 19, 2022
Hopefully this chapter doesnโt come out as self-degrading or edgy, i tried to make it not.
