Mario Nakano 64 / Comments

Mario Nakano 64

It's a me. I'm an aspiring light novel writer hoping to one day see my works in anime form. I hope that my works at least brighten up your day and give you something to look forward to.

registered at: Jun 30, 2023

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aaa

Sep 23, 2025

Funny Yalda mentions an edgelord considering what ends up happening later on.

Face of Eternity : The Journey of a Little Angel

Chapter:32

Sep 23, 2025

Here's hoping the dog will repay the deed and help her escape.

I Got Summoned to Hell to Grant a Demon’s Wish?!

Chapter:40

Sep 23, 2025

Never tried goat milk before, or anything made from goat milk now that I think about it. Wonder how it compares.

Face of Eternity : The Journey of a Little Angel

Chapter:31

Sep 23, 2025

Bootleg Okamura fight.

Control My Life!

Chapter:30

Sep 23, 2025

I imagined Tensei would look more like Paimon. Also, how hard was it to get that small text in the chapter?

Control My Life!

Chapter:29

Sep 22, 2025

Maybe he should state the game first, then issue the challenge. Either that, or Eight's been breaking the rule this whole time.

Gamble-Mania

Chapter:36

Sep 22, 2025

Gonna be honest, Lucien making it so Grace is the only person who could likely get the flowers had me groaning. Even with Kuro there, you're just begging for the Devil's assistant to kidnap her.

I Got Summoned to Hell to Grant a Demon’s Wish?!

Chapter:39

Sep 22, 2025

That chonker of a paragraph really needs to be split up. Seems like this is the latest chapter. You did mention this was your first work, so it is expected that it might not be the most polished thing, but I think the premise is unique. If you ever decide to come back and revisit this, I hope you take all the feedback into account and try to make this a really good story.

My life with the Lizard girl

Chapter:3

Sep 22, 2025

This chapter was a bit hard to read. First off, I had no idea who was talking in the first line. Pronouns should only be used after the noun has been defined. The first paragraph also contains words that should be capitalized. I'd recommend doing a rewrite of it.

My life with the Lizard girl

Chapter:2

Sep 22, 2025

In terms of grammar, more or less what I said before; try not to use "said" so often, especially when their are better more descriptive words out there.

My life with the Lizard girl

Chapter:1

Sep 22, 2025

The premise is intriguing, and the cover art is nice. In terms of writing, I'd recommend fixing the formatting for the second paragraph. You also don't need to say "said" all the time for dialogue tags. Try words like "shrugged", "grumbled", "chuckled" instead of just "said". In fact, if the character from the previous paragraph is speaking in the next one, you don't need to even include a dialogue tag, unless they are also performing an action as they speak. Hope you found some of this advice helpful.

My life with the Lizard girl

Chapter:0

Sep 22, 2025

So basically, smash the giant crystal to cure everyone.

Lock & Key: Resonance

Chapter:32

Sep 22, 2025

[Game log #333]

Here's the game from round 1 of All-Japan between Mimoko and Ojou Sama from Chapter 570. It features a Wayward Queen Attack.

[Event "All-Japan"]
[Site "Kōtō City, Tokyo"]
[Date "2024.10.08"]
[Round "1"]
[White "Ojou Sama"]
[Black "Mimoko Inoue (2858)"]
[Result "0-1"]
[Link "https://www.chess.com/analysis"]

1. e4 e5 2. Qh5 d6 3. Bc4 g6 4. Bxf7+ Kxf7 5. Qf3+ Nf6 6. Qb3+ Kg7 7. d4 exd4 8. Bh6+ Kxh6 9. Qh3+ Bxh3 10. gxh3 Nxe4 11. c4 Qh4 12. a4 d3 13. Ra3 Qxf2+ 14. Kd1 Qf1# 0-1

En Passant Grandmaster

Chapter:570

Sep 22, 2025

Author's Commentary #570:

Time to talk about Chapter 570: The wayward queen.
Originally, I wasn't going to show Mimoko's game for this round, but, I ended up doing so anyway. As for the new character, no, Ojou Sama is not her real name. That will be revealed later down the line, so I'll save her bio for then. All I'll say is that she was inspired by Theodora from Fire Emblem Fortune's Weave.

As for the game, it features a Wayward Queen Attack, also known as the Danvers Opening, and the Kentucky Opening. The point of it was to be quick, which makes sense as Ojou is really bad at chess. If she had a proper rating, it would likely be 125. She isn't a WWCF member though, so she'll need to register first before she can get it.

As for round 1, I plan to feature just one more game before some break chapters before round 2. Since Spice of Life's 2-year anniversary will be tomorrow, I plan to feature a game between Yumi and Cinnamon.

That's all for this commentary. I hope you enjoyed it.

En Passant Grandmaster

Chapter:570

Sep 21, 2025

Right before the big battle too. And that title, you're cutting it too close IRL with the contest. I know you got the chapters, but it's still anxiety-inducing.

Lock & Key: Resonance

Chapter:31

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