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Don’t ruffle my feathers with bad prose.
Current reading list (not in order): Hotwired! Air Born BlackBrain The World Doesn't Change So Easily Red Line Finding Ezri Eclipse Guardians Seike so much to read @_@
What is an Achievement?
Dec 31, 2024
You really know how to leave someone hanging, don't you? (Sorry had a typo earlier had to delete then repost 😅)
omg this is K-On but instead of tea time it's ramen time. i love it lmao
oh nice! you don’t see many entries combining sci-fi and fantasy. gj on the cover art too.
also, the hyphens for dialogue are an interesting choice. however I’d recommend sticking to quotation marks. might make things feel a bit easier to read
btw, those orbs remind me of orianna if you play LoL lmao
To:Ćunfre
Thanks again for reading Cunfre! I’m glad you’re enjoying the episodic vibe- that’s def something I wanted to from the very beginning. And yeah, even though Axel’s out of the story now, you’ll see the ripple effects of his demise later on. Honestly, I’m kind of surprised so many people liked him- I originally wrote him to be a total douchebag lmaooo
Also, I’m so happy you love Friend! Maybe I let her steal the spotlight too much lmao
Np DEVI! Always happy to comment. My story’s def progressing. I’ve made a ton of edits and ended up cutting a lot of words, so it’s gonna be shorter than I originally planned 😅 But hey, quality over quantity, right? Anyway, you're so close with just 13 chapters left! Keep pushing, you’ve got this
LMAO this is a work of art
Ooh, golems! This chapter’s got some awesome tension and just the right amount of "what the heck is going on?" to keep me hooked. Keep it coming!
Loving the escalation here! Starts with some boring presentation stuff, then boom- time machine, then future war, and then a woman crashes the party in a battleship. Keep this energy going!
Nothing says "welcome to your new job" quite like a metal coffin ahaha
I'm ready. Hit me with that backstory lmao
Oml Joshua. When he was like, "Yeah, I’m gonna die horribly because my dad did it that way," and then I scrolled down and saw the anti-vaxxer comment, I was like, yep, that tracks lmaooo
Poor Katy’s just standing there like a broken NPC lmao
And Shizuka banging on the door while her dad’s dying ugh 😭
Heya taking another breather from writing and coming back to read your story. Gotta refresh my brain lol. Anyway-
Yayyy, we finally get to meet the crew!
That first day at work scene is spot on lol. Poor Tore's scrambling to make a good impression. Remembering names, smiling like a psychopath. We've all been there lmao
...and the award for douchiest dad goes to Gargan for the whole "I’m doing this for your own good" speech and slapping Emidio! 🙄
Anyway, loving how you showed Emidio’s whole trapped vibe. The security camera detail was such a nice touch- really drives home that he's got nowhere to hide.
That's some juicy family drama 😂 The way Emidio was at the photo op vs Curro and his dad- yikes. Finally, the real stuff starts! EXAM ARC LETS GOOOO
Loving the whole "meeting the president" scene. Reminds me of the Hunger Games haha. Quick heads-up: "outlies" should probably be "outskirts" (unless that was intentional!) Can’t wait to see how these kids tackle their first big mission 😄
Dec 28, 2024
The opening scene with the TV ad is pretty clever. Sets up themes of escapism and ambition nicely
Also, June's British accent is *chef's kiss*. It just adds so much to her attitude when she's talking to Bill (or should I say HAL lmao)
Overall good stuff
