Jan 01, 2025
Congrats on finishing the story.
I did have a lot of fun reading it, especially in the last few chapters. The action really does shine, as I said before. I too consider them to be the high points of the novel. The final stretch from the encounter with Rosalie to the final encounter had me coming back for more. I think the time skip and final chapter follows logically from what happened before, while also giving a strong sense of finality (with room for sequel adventures, of course).
I didn't hate Scout at all. I recognized she had a lot of flaws, but I never felt frustrated reading her. I saw your comment that you wanted readers to 'observe' her rather than identify with, and that's exactly how I'd been reading her the entire time. So I would say you nailed your authorial intent there!
I do also agree some plot beats would hit harder if they had more time to breathe. HOWEVER--there's nothing wrong with the plot points by themselves. I think if you lay them all out on paper, the plot beats make sense and flow logically. I can accept that the pace, as it is now, is due mainly to deadline constraints. I mean, in a perfect world we would all have as much time as we needed to to flesh everything out, so... I get it.
I think my only real suggestion is--and this is not even a critique, really, simply food for thought--relating to the plot device of the nuke suitcase. (Incoming highly subjective unsolicited opinion, take with a grain of salt) - I feel like the driving MacGuffin didn't NEED to be what it was. ... Or put another way, the plot could have been driven by something with hmm.. maybe something more personal, or related to the main group in some more direct way, even if it doesn't carry as high stakes for the greater setting as a nuclear bomb does.
(Now this is where my highly subjective hot take comes in, BUT: I have never thought 'high stakes' should be the central focal or starting point when crafting a plot--I've noticed a real heavy focus on 'stakes this' and 'stakes that' in modern years, but if you ask me, what's important to the characters should really be carrying the story forward. I think obsession with stakes is how you end up with every single hollywood superhero movie a few years ago--literally every movie--ending with a giant blue portal that opens up over new york or wherever threatening to destroy the planet, because ... hey, what's higher stakes than literally the end of the world, right??)
So tying this back to the suitcase--again this isn't really a critique per se, because it DOES work well enough to carry the plot forward .. I guess if I want to convey one thing, it's that something that's more central/personal to the characters, but whose failure is less catastrophic to the setting's world at large, is OK too. ... (Of course, everything I just said is complete conjecture as to the reasoning behind your story choices. If I'm way off mark, please disregard!)
Overall I was satisfied, and had a lot of fun reading this.
Your writing is NOT repetitive.🙂
