Jul 09, 2023
I always like entries with unique premises like this. You've executed well on the idea of using the protagonist as a stat menu. The strongest aspect of this story definitely seems to be the world-building so far.
That being said, the one weakness that does stick out so far is the protagonist's point-of-view. There's still more chapters to read through, so my opinion on this can definitely change, but a protagonist that can't directly communicate with the characters around him ironically limits what you can do world-building wise. The same could be said for character interaction.
I think an easy fix for this, but you definitely don't have to do it if you don't want to, is to try to make Vivian a more active character for Kyle to observe. His biggest impression of the world comes from the villainess herself. By doing this, you can still have interesting interactions in the story.
Another, perhaps this one makes less sense, is that Vivian learns a skill that allows her to remotely observe the world around her from the safety of her stat menu. This also gives the benefit of allowing Kyle to get a better idea of the people surrounding her.
Regardless, I'll still keep reading, because the world-building is enough to keep me reading. 😁
