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dmznot

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Hiiii! ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩

I'm a guy, btw.
I love parody and anything that sounds funny. But being ghosted isn't one of them.
Just kidding, lmao.

registered at: Jul 16, 2020

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aaa

Aug 09, 2023

To:yitsuin

I was waiting for your reaction to this chapter, lol, and I became happy with your comment, so thanks.
I dunno about music, but I have the melody (incomplete) in my mind. I wish I know about music (and have some instruments to mess with), so I can make it real, lol. Yeah, so someone can do the chores and sing, "Sexy me~ Sexy me~" xD

Writing a Guidebook with You

Chapter:16

Aug 08, 2023

It did make me chuckle, I liked it. And no, I'm not native and my grammar is not perfect.
Sorry, I was sleepy. I usually left single-line or half-assed comments when I was sleepy, because I just wanted to read the book.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:4

Aug 08, 2023

To:Ducky123

Huh, why revise?
I think the gaming part is necessary because the yelling mom part won't work without it. If that stalking part makes the yelling mom part funnier, then I like it, so yeah, I agree, I think no need to elaborate on it.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:3

Aug 08, 2023

To:Ducky123

I think the story itself got more weight than the others. I read some books in the final rounds and found a few misuses of punctuation, CMIIW. So I think it's fine to finish first. Besides, others don't seem to mind it, so whichever is okay.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:1

Aug 08, 2023

To:Deleted User

Yup, as a nightmare does. Let's just say Kousuke's mind is visiting a horror theme park. I also didn't go into detail about what happened to Arabella, there wasn't even blood/sauce. So I hope it's still wholesome. Wholesome dating in a horror theme park, if that makes sense, lol.

But anyway, I can also just write that she got stabbed or whatever. The point is, Kousuke must realize that he doesn't want to lose her through the trial.

Writing a Guidebook with You

Chapter:20

Aug 08, 2023

"he wonders where she went" lol
Hmm, skull? shoe? She is a villainess?? Lol, dunno.

Our School is Perfectly Ordinary

Chapter:12

Aug 08, 2023

"graded out of thirty" lol.
Okay, Miwa is probably a mecha pilot. Oh wait, a mecha pilot doesn't have a way to erase memories, right, so maybe an alien hunter with a beam of light? lol

Our School is Perfectly Ordinary

Chapter:11

Aug 08, 2023

"must have shed because I took ages to open" is funny.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:4

Aug 08, 2023

This is a fun chapter, and yeah, I think it won't work without the previous gaming situation. "make sure mom hears" is funny.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:3

Aug 08, 2023

To:Deleted User

Yup, not real!

Writing a Guidebook with You

Chapter:20

Aug 07, 2023

Yeah, I think 13 y.o. boy won't censor "c*m" in chat lol.
Sometimes I got confused because no dialog tag, but sometimes not. Maybe using ":" can also work for chatting. Like, JunHandsome: I'm grinding mats.
But it seems no one said the same thing, so probably that's just me, lol (I'm somewhat sleepy now)

I agree that it's kinda sidetracked, but maybe we can patch up things. Like, someone uses a character that reminds him about Koyori, or one player is secretly herself, or whatever. And probably this can be used for a dating chapter later.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:2

Aug 06, 2023

To:Ducky123

Ah, right, edgy always does that, lol.
Yeah, the dialogue doesn't seem necessary to be bold. I use dark mode so it's shining. Unless something epic happens, maybe it needs bold text instead of capitalizing everything.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:1

Aug 06, 2023

To:Ducky123

I got baited by Klee pfp honestly, lol. But after I read the synopsis, "huh? moving into his room?", I decided to read. (and procrastinating for a while)

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:0

Aug 06, 2023

Those virtual gfs are probably VTubers lol. Cool guy in doujin and also the way he wears that cap? So that's his genre, huh xD

I think if "I'm ugly" and other things are referenced in later chapters, then telling his routine in detail is a nice touch. Like, he looks at the mirror in the future and Koyori says "you are cute, not ugly" or whatever, I dunno.
And personally I hope I see less bold, because it's too bright. But not that bright, so it's okay.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:1

Aug 06, 2023

Well. I kinda want to play after reading this, lol.
Anyway, Koyori seems like a bright character, so yeah, I'm curious about her. Sorry I can't give useful feedback lol. I just comment about what I like or what gets me interested.

My childhood friend ran away from home and now I have to share a room with her?!

Chapter:0

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