Jun 18, 2023
There's just something about your writing that feels...hypnotising. At times, existential. At times, it feels real. Neil's thoughts and how he reacts to Lily and the world around him capture me in a way that's different from the other well-written, flowing novels. I just don't know how to put it together.
If anything, my only concern is that the story might get a bit too "heavy" for a light novel. As in, while LNs in general generally target a teenage audience, I fear the way Keith views the world and how his thoughts are expressed might be alienating a portion of them. LNs are the fast food of stories after all. Yours feel more like fine dining.
Regardless, this is undoubtedly one of the more hard-hitting stories I've read so far. Not in the sense that it hits me with a generic emotion (joy, sadness, etc.) but in the sense that it really made me reflect on my own experiences and how I handled them.
The first chapter, in particular, is painfully good. It reminded me a lot of Oddtaxi Episode 4, where the character being featured in that particular episode goes into detail about how his life slowly spirals due to addiction. Granted, Neil doesn't throw his life away, but here, I got an inkling of that, through how Neil viewed his own performance.
Regardless, I really hope you'll go far in this contest. Writing of this quality is uncommon in Honeyfeed, and authors who can do what you've done here are few and far in between.
Kipidap 💪🏻
