Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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aaa

Jun 10, 2024

Is that a crack in kaiserbooism I see? Perhaps the beginning of some character development? I was 😭though the first part, but the ending made me 😀. Now I'm holding my breath to see if they make it.

Urugano!

Chapter:27

Jun 10, 2024

To:Pope Evaristus

I wanted to do something for Pride, but unfortunately, I saw my writing time for the month quickly vanishing, so telling is the crutch I fell back on to make it in time, especially to get the twist of Collette's perspective at the end of the first chapter. But the next couple chapters definitely fall into more tell.

(And I say "make it on time," but I'm still working on the epilogue.)

As for my screen name, it's a very forced anagram, but I ended up liking how unique it was.

Sincere Pretenses

Chapter:1

Jun 09, 2024

To:Lei

More like what a fattie. In all honesty, eating udon at the airport is something I did the first time I went to Japan, but that's the only event from real life I used as an inspiration.

Thanks for reading!

When the Rose Blooms Among the Cherry Blossoms, The Thorns Aren’t As Dangerous As the Petals in the Breeze

Chapter:1

Jun 09, 2024

To:スイレン94

Definitely idiot couple. To be honest, this came together kind of quickly (though I'm still finishing up the last chapter.) I don't have a lot of writing time this month, but I was feeling the itch to write GL again since posting the last Hoshinauts omake two months ago, and I figured Pride was as good a reason as any. I definitely kinda just grabbed a bunch of tropes and decided to see what I could do with them.

Sincere Pretenses

Chapter:1

Jun 09, 2024

NGL, this one made me blush a little bit.

(Not Exactly) In Search Of An Oasis

Chapter:8

Jun 09, 2024

Interesting approach to make the POV from the local's side, instead of the visitor's side. Definitely a sweet ending. Bet of luck with the judging!

1001 Origami Cranes

Chapter:1

Jun 08, 2024

Hmm, yeah, I'm maybe not as down on it as Bubbles, but I think I personally like your other entry better. This one was beautiful, but the language did make it difficult to understand at times.

Definitely agree that an internal conflict near the middle or end would make it something I enjoy more, but I get there's a market for works without it.

That Spring, When She Appeared In Thulian

Chapter:1

Jun 05, 2024

To:Lihinel

Thanks for reading! I’m still very much on the fence about present tense myself. Just trying it so I can get past a slump.

When the Rose Blooms Among the Cherry Blossoms, The Thorns Aren’t As Dangerous As the Petals in the Breeze

Chapter:1

Jun 04, 2024

Happy pride. Sorry to hear that you've been bedridden. This chapter fed right into my nightmares. I'm always worried about making translation mistakes like that.

(Not Exactly) In Search Of An Oasis

Chapter:7

Jun 03, 2024

High inflation and anemic growth? Ripped straight from the headlines. Even if you want to run away from reality, you'll find it staring back at you in this book.

It's maybe straightforward and not subtle at all, but this chapter does very clearly depict the kinds of situations that lead to the breakdown of society as people can't get the help—or human connection—they need.

Urugano!

Chapter:26

Jun 01, 2024

I really, really loved this. It was hilarious. It was sad. It was gay. I learned the slang "tosspot" for the first time.

My biggest laugh probably came from using Matthew 18 to justify a weird artistic choice and then stealing cake. Belting out bawdy lyrics to a child playing the piano was pretty funny too though.

And I'm not going to lie, I always love the fantasy of being able to tell off terrible people like that.

All in all, I know you just barely squeaked under the word limit, but I feel you packed a *lot* into just 3k words.

Love is a Rebellious Bird

Chapter:1

May 30, 2024

To:Pope Evaristus

Everyone loves or hates the watersports olympiad line. Makes me feel like I did something write as an author.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:10

May 29, 2024

A Bat Credit Card???

The Robert Frost line got the biggest laugh from me this chapter.

Yasuda is a difficult character to figure out. She's obviously smart, but believing so deeply in fate, and science-based religious holidays is kinda weird. But at the same time, this is a world with magic and possibly cold fusion. Maybe sciencemas isn't a stupid idea? And the bit about the magic bears shows us that she's skeptical of something that seems unscientific, but we know exist in her world. So she's not irrational scientific enough, if that makes sense.

And still, knowing what she knows about the more recent backstory of the two history clubs, and her family's role in what happened, she doesn't seem to re-think her fated vengeance upon Fuumi.

Urugano!

Chapter:25

May 28, 2024

What? John? Nooooo! 😭 Talk about a spoiler!

This might be the must brutal chapter yet, with the “because I wasn’t worried”s.

Urugano!

Chapter:24

May 28, 2024

To:Joya

Thank you for reading! I know it wasn't exactly long, but you went through it in a day. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.

Definitely, I wanted this to be much longer. As I was writing it for the MAL x HF contest, I unfortunately ran out of time and had to rush to the ending early. Summer tends to be the busiest time of year at my job, and I just can't seem to write well unless I have at least a couple hours blocked off to concentrate at it. I saw my schedule fill up, knew I only had a few more writing sessions left before the deadline, and ended up with a less than satisfying ending, leaving out about half of what I planned.

Maybe some day I'll come back and give it a proper re-do, but I've got other things I need to work on first.

Enchanted by a Witch From a Realm Called Earth

Chapter:19

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