Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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May 20, 2024

To:SamSerakawa

Thank you for noticing! I'm really happy with how that metaphor turned out. After I came up with it, I honestly spent like half an hour trying to figure out exactly how I wanted to phrase it and where to put it in the story.

When the Rose Blooms Among the Cherry Blossoms, The Thorns Aren’t As Dangerous As the Petals in the Breeze

Chapter:1

May 20, 2024

To:Kitsune

Introspective, but still not completely cured. He still ended it with "Owari".

When the Rose Blooms Among the Cherry Blossoms, The Thorns Aren’t As Dangerous As the Petals in the Breeze

Chapter:1

May 19, 2024

This story is very sweet!

Sakura Mochi

Chapter:1

May 19, 2024

Poor Saito Fumi. Life would be so much easier if you could just control who loves you back.

Maybe she'll find herself a nice girlfriend after all.

Urugano!

Chapter:20

May 19, 2024

To:Taylor J

I am also 100% this guy in some of my friends’ minds.

When the Rose Blooms Among the Cherry Blossoms, The Thorns Aren’t As Dangerous As the Petals in the Breeze

Chapter:1

May 18, 2024

To:otkrlj

Same with desu. He really emphasized the u in that one.

When the Rose Blooms Among the Cherry Blossoms, The Thorns Aren’t As Dangerous As the Petals in the Breeze

Chapter:1

May 13, 2024

Once again, just brutal, though the formatting of the opening line definitely made me laugh. Gotta wonder if the jade can really isekai someone, or it was just telling Haruki what he wanted to hear.

And hell yeah, communist-themed magical weapons. Was that magic little red book modeled after the magical pseudo-Biblical words from the Le Chevalier D'Eon anime?

Urugano!

Chapter:19

May 12, 2024

Absolutely brutal. A testament to the infinite cruelty and pain that we humans inflict upon each other. A blow so despicable they don't even allow it in MMA.

Even the CIA would hesitate to inflict Cagayake! GIRLS nightcore on its torture victims.

The nut shot at the end though, Haruki kinda deserved it. Very interesting to create a character whose own stupidity makes him uncorruptible, but does him no favors otherwise.

Urugano!

Chapter:18

May 08, 2024

I love Akira.

In all seriousness, I really felt like I understand exactly how smart Haruki is from these chapters. Dude is repeating advertising slogans as if they're some real knowledge.

Urugano!

Chapter:17

May 08, 2024

To:Momentie

Aww, thank you so much. That's super heartening to hear. I definitely agree that a happier ending would be, well, happier.

I have to admit, a lot of Erika's depression and angst is what I've felt recently about getting old. Erika at the beginning of this chapter is a lonely, more extreme version of me.

Some day I'll commission some art of the girls.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:29

May 07, 2024

Not to impugn any nuns, but I think Toshiko's analogy takes them too uncritically at face value.

Urugano!

Chapter:16

May 05, 2024

That's a gruesome reveal. I can see why she tried just the shoe first. Love the darker magical girl stuff.

Urugano!

Chapter:15

May 04, 2024

I like to think of myself as disillusioned with Western pop media and more in tune with weeaboo culture, but I have to admit, I'd never heard Koi no Doubles, and I got all the Western song references in this chapter.

As always, our perceptions of ourselves are far from reality.

Michi's got her priorities straight. Cats are important!

Anyway, this was another well-done chapter. It starts off casually dropping that detail about the computer virus, but veers pretty quickly into a standard—one might say anime cliché—heartwarming/depressing impoverished orphanage story. In the middle of that, you get gut punched with a detail about the past wars in this story.

And then you get the events of two chapters ago, rushed through from a different perspective, luring you into a sense of familiarity, letting your guard down for that twist at the end. Nicely done.

Urugano!

Chapter:14

May 02, 2024

Also, nice job sneaking a “vast and infinite” reference in there.

Urugano!

Chapter:13

May 02, 2024

My money was originally in the monster being some kind of byproduct of cold fusion. A bit unscientific maybe, but so is cold fusion at this point.

Urugano!

Chapter:13

Steward McOy

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