Steward McOy

Steward McOy

Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021
Roles
  • Author
  • Badge

    badge-silver

    silver
    Achievement
    Thumbs up Level 5
    Comments Level 6
    Published Novel Level 4
    Published Chapter Level 6
    Novel Cover Upload Level 3
    Community Level 1
    Time(Daily access) Level 6
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2022
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2023

    May 16, 2023

    Yandere isn't _quite_ correct, but it's close. I'm not sure there's a -dere term for it. She's not violent towards Hina, and she's not violent in general, but Hina is the most important thing in the world to her, and all other concerns—and norms—go flying out the window when it comes to protecting Hina. In the same way that Sachiko has an unrelenting focus on doing what's necessary, Hina is Yasu's obsession. She's not going to act violent towards Hina, and she'll leave love rivals alone unless they cause real trouble for Hina. (But more about that in the next chapter.)

    I had to think about this, but I think the answer, as it often is when it comes to combat, is "it depends". In a fair, one-on-one fight, Sachiko probably wins. She's taller, stronger, and has a longer reach.

    But the thing that makes the girls dangerous, and the next chapter will touch on this just a bit as well, is that not just that they're strong, but they're smart and they're used to achieving their goals without letting anyone get in their way, even when it comes to rules or laws.

    So if either of them really got it in their heads to take the other out, with enough patience and planning, they could doubtlessly make it happen, as long as the other doesn't see it coming. Again, it would be easier for Sachiko, since she's got more connections, but Yasu could get it done.

    We're actually nearing the end of the book, so don't get your hopes up for too much more action.

    As for the knives, I'm not sure what would be most practical, I was thinking both men got the same idea to wear wrist sheathes that wouldn't be noticeable under their baggy jumpsuits. Not like, assassin's creed style, but with the handle pointed towards the hand to make it easy to draw out with the other hand. And yeah, the sheathes would mask the metal from detection.

    icon-reaction-1
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-2
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-3
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-4
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-5
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-6
    Loading...
    1
    Temporary cover
    The Hoshinauts
    Chapter:18




    May 09, 2023

    To:JB94

    Typo fixed. Thank you, thank you.

    Yeah, fanfiction can go overboard real fast. It's not as major a theme in the story, but I definitely wanted a lot of push and pull with the fanfiction/shipping aspect. I know there's a lot of discourse in various internet communities about the appropriateness of shipping. Personally, I'm all for allowing people to imagine whatever they like, and share it amongst like-minded people. I feel that it's core to nerd culture in specific, and pop culture enjoyment in general. But I'm not blind to the ugly sides, and I don't blame people for getting weirded out by adults wanting underage characters in children's media to kiss, and when people start flamewars because other people ship different pairings, it goes beyond letting everyone like what they like.

    So the tension I tried to weave into this story is slowly pushing the characters together, encouraging readers to get invested in their relationships, while creating a problematic in-universe shipping community that might give readers pause about their own feelings. And the potential of the Hina x Erika ship gets into the problematic waters of an adult with a minor.

    But of course, it's not all bad, even in-universe, as evidenced by the wholesome Sachiko x Maeko story referenced in this chapter.

    And nice catch on the classic GL discussion. I am nothing if not inspired by years and years of yuri manga.

    I hope the next chapter shed some more insight into Maeko's actions. She's very much of the opinion that the ends justify the means, and that's why she's in such an extreme minority faction.

    icon-reaction-1
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-2
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-3
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-4
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-5
    Loading...
    icon-reaction-6
    Loading...
    1
    Temporary cover
    The Hoshinauts
    Chapter:16