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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.
What is an Achievement?
Jul 16, 2023
No items, Porco only, Final destination.
(In all seriousness, I love the random flood of Percy lore.)
To:Astral
Fair, but at least he was lying on his couch watching a game instead of trying to cram more training into his last days of summer vacation or something.
Awoooo~
Once again, Haru's being super uptight. It was actually nice to see him relax a bit and regret it for once.
Never meet your hero…'s licensed shovelware game.
Jul 07, 2023
Anime, huh? Never heard of it.
Jul 06, 2023
That is such a cute name.
And yet, the steam did not hide the toes. 🤔
Jul 03, 2023
Once again, anime ruins everything.
At least it's not a cult?
It hasn't been mentioned. At this point in the story, how the fruit works, along with why Chika doesn't die without eating it, are unexplained, but the explanation becomes a major plot point later.
Jul 02, 2023
I love it. Actually finding out what sweets taste like is a logical thing to do… if you care about the presumably fake girl in your dreams. And I supposed if you're going to go that far, might as well go overboard.
Jun 30, 2023
To:Lihinel
Mass producing anything modern would be a challenge, especially when spices are still highly important for food preservation, but she also has to consider the impacts of her actions. Introducing chemical warfare to people who don't fully understand its horrors could end up going very, very wrong. Pretending it's difficult to produce might be the better play.
Jun 27, 2023
I feel the first half of this chapter so much.
His subconscious picking something random to fill in is a good, logical explanation.
Jun 26, 2023
Everyone else already commented on the DDLC reference, so I'm just left to wonder whether he'll be able to overcome these rules, or whether they'll end up being very important later in the story.