Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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aaa

Apr 09, 2023

To:dmznot

I definitely play the cringe aspect up for laughs. One of the most fun challenges of writing this was coming up with funny language combinations without making it too difficult to understand.

At one point I tried to have the characters all use sentence enders so it would be easier to tell them apart in dialogue. I ended up with a lot of desus and some dazes. I even had a character who used de gozaru, and I managed to fit a de goaimasu wa in there.

Ultimately, it made things too repetitive and cluttered things up unnecessarily, but I believe a few desuwas still remain in later chapters.

Neo Akihabara Meipouchou

Chapter:1

Apr 08, 2023

To:Vforest

There's no shame in revising after posting. I've certainly had to do it with nearly every Hoshinauts chapter.

But yeah, it's definitely a tough number to figure out, and like you said, doesn't materially affect the plot, so I hesitated to even mention it.

Museworld

Chapter:92

Apr 07, 2023

I'm going to break with my usual jokey comments to make a slightly nerdy and definitely unimportant comment.

To get the kind of overcrowding you've described in earlier chapters, you'd need a much larger population than 12 billion, unless the amount of habitable land has been greatly decreased.

Museworld

Chapter:92

Apr 07, 2023

Never sleep. How else are you going to win at capitalism?

Museworld

Chapter:91

Apr 06, 2023

Frankie 😭

Museworld

Chapter:74

Apr 05, 2023

Kidney must be something else. I shudder to think about an immortal tycoon using their wealth and power to accumulate more wealth and power over who knows how long a time.

Museworld

Chapter:66

Apr 05, 2023

"You're the one who knew it was sappy romance shit." 😉

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:45

Apr 04, 2023

I hate all those headlines. Great job.

Museworld

Chapter:63

Apr 04, 2023

To:スイレン94

Thanks! This one went through a lot of rewrites. I've never been a young woman, but I wanted it to come off as at least a bit authentic. I ended up drawing on some of my experiences growing up, discovering my attraction to the same sex, but picking up on societal pressure that it was somehow wrong, even though at the same time I was learning about a lot of really weird kinks other people had that weren't seen as bad.

Honestly, that's mostly why I write sapphic relationships in my stories. It lets me inject just a bit of my own experiences and perspectives into the story without hitting too close to home. I got into reading yuri for similar reasons, finding things I identify with that weren't present in other media.

And yes, nice catch on the hand-holding.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:12

Apr 03, 2023

I’m a tough boy. Where do I get my Tough Boys Pass?

Also, congrats on getting featured!

Museworld

Chapter:59

Apr 01, 2023

To me, every year is the year of the Bozo, except 2013, which is the year of Luigi.

Museworld

Chapter:50

Mar 31, 2023

Not hard to see why people don’t like him.

Museworld

Chapter:47

Mar 30, 2023

To:tanktrilby

They show up in the next chapter.

Neo Akihabara Meipouchou

Chapter:1

Mar 29, 2023

I have a lore question. Do the Olympics on this world also take place in an amusement park?

Museworld

Chapter:42

Mar 29, 2023

That's an interesting notion of escapism. I'm not sure if I agree or not, but it definitely gave me something to think about.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:44

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