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Live in the present and enjoy reading
What is an Achievement?
Aug 22, 2021
I've been meeting to start reading this for a bit now and I am not disappointed. I'm totally loving it so far and like Romeo's personality. He kind of gives me Edward Elric vibes
I really liked the dialogue of the 'voice' you had in this chapter. I imagine it was the devil and I thought it was well written
I really like Yang's voice a lot and enjoyed his comments he kept making to himself throughout the chapter!
Aug 21, 2021
To:mikasajean
Thank you! Logan is my overall favorite character so it has been really fun writing from his perspective. Next chapter will be diving even deeper into his backstory!
To:Cas_Cade
I actually really like the image you got of Logan. I think it would really fit in with his character!
To:cmoneyjr
Never trust a girl that breaks into your room through your window
Aug 19, 2021
He’s got to have good style during all this😂
Aug 18, 2021
I really love this start to the story. You introduced multiple characters very well and already have a solid plot going. Just a few things to edit and work on in other chapters. You switched between past tense and present tense a few times in this chapter so I’d just go back and make sure everything is in the past tense since that’s what the majority of the chapter was in. Also when you were describing Mary (her pale skin and hair) you wrote the same description about her two paragraphs in a row so just touch that up. Overall a great start and I’ll keep with it. So much room for world building in this so I’m excited!
Aug 15, 2021
To:Atharva
Thank you! And of course, I'll make sure to give yours a read as well!
To:Deleted User
I'm really glad you're enjoying it! And of course, they work through etsy, but I'll leave the link for their shop! https://www.etsy.com/shop/QBNStudios?ref=shop_sugg
Aug 11, 2021
To:otkrlj
Thank you! And I should have the new chapter up tonight, almost finished with it!
Aug 09, 2021
To:countlesscreator
Thank you! I'm hoping to continue building them well throughout the story.
To:senpaibaby
The next chapter will be up probably by Wednesday at the latest!
Aug 07, 2021
I'm glad you were able to see what I was trying to portray with Ava and Logan's character! I'm still going to work on the seamlessness aspect of showing my characters' personalities and actions in my future writings so that they are believable and strong characters!
Aug 06, 2021
I like Minami as a character so far and thing there’s a lot you can do with her development. One thing I would try to do more of is describe the scenes a little more, but overall I like the writing and your use of dialogue! I’ll keep on reading for sure.
