Fuzzy Rabid Usagi / Comments

Fuzzy Rabid Usagi

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registered at: Jul 14, 2021

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Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

He's not realistic, unless you're trying to realistically capture a sociopath.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:8

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

He isn't realistic for a cocky dude. He's realistic for a narcissistic sociopath.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:7

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

Yes, but they can't just deploy them out of nowhere. That's an act of war.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:44

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

Right because faking the death of a Japanese teen is difficult for a CIA operative.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:39

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

So completely undeserving of sympathy.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:36

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

But that isn't genetic, you can't pass that on.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:35

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

No, but now that you mention it I question why the CIA is building super soldiers instead of more drones.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:33

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

People like that wouldn't have made it in the CIA though. That's the kind of dude that would snap like a twig under torture.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:32

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

How? Specifically?

Crimson Soul

Chapter:31

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

That's not really what the CIA does, they're not the sort of organization that would be experimenting on agents.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:30

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

Not really. The negative side effects should have been starting at around Stage 2 or 3. There's a reason our body regulates adrenaline and only releases it in extreme situations; too much too often is detrimental. This project trying to break past that never would have gotten off the ground because the patients should have been practically dead after a few constant bursts.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:29

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

A grad student is someone who's completed college and is working a graduate degree.
And there's a difference between "good at what he does" and being at a level of general confidence that feels unnatural for his age group. You haven't spent any time developing Richard as a character or establishing him, so just throwing him at me and saying "yeah he's hyper competent" without really showing me how and why that is just makes it come off as kind of like he's a mary sue.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:28

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

I thought it was a business card? I didn't really get the compensation money vibe it felt like the guy was like "I run this business btw come check it out."

Crimson Soul

Chapter:27

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

The man is literally going around terrifying women with his dog so that he can manipulate them into going out with him, that's despicable.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:26

Sep 13, 2021

To:Real Aire

I understand that mindset, I just think that "outbursts" of emotion feel weird. I think emotions slowly seeping in during his everyday life would get a better impact of what was going on, and could contrast with a serious stabbing emotion like rage. But the fact that his emotional states were either "nonexistent" or "outburst" with no real moderation makes it hard to get a good feel of his progress in a linear sense.

Crimson Soul

Chapter:25

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