May 19, 2025
To:lolitroy
wow wow wow look at all this lovely feedback.. this comment is absolutely HUGE
k so im gonna respond by giving my though process for this stuff and mostly agree with what ur saying. maybe itll be insightful or maybe it wont be idk
OH but first i have a confession to make: so once upon a time (about a year ago) there was a little woodland creature named orionless who watched an anime called honey and clover. he was shocked by its sheer emotional depth and it inspired him to create something with a similar level of it. so he typed away and wrote about 8k words of a story and played around with the characters... and then threw it out to start A Coward's Comedy. well, about a year later, this contest comes around. orionless saw it and was like yoo theres a romance prompt why not just upload what i have of that story i started last year. so he did that. and yes, this is the story.
i feel like 99% of the problems u have with the story as it currently is is BECAUSE of the simple fact that i entered it into this contest and made an attempt to have a semi-coherent ending while still trying to make love "transcend boundaries" (which, maybe it was done implicitly, but not really as explicitly as i hoped for). sort of sounds like im giving my own story a review, but thats how it is. i know i pretty much destroyed this in order to make it work in the contest... even if it still didnt.
the entire cult arc was pretty much a plot device to A. fit the prompt (MIGHT have still failed at that) and B. end the story
now there were way too many problems with this. first, as you mentioned, soren's arc was pretty much rushed to finish. what i would've done without these constraints was give each character some yk.. moments and stuff but it is what it is
dude WHY DOES EVERYONE CALL HER KATRINA ITS KATERINA WITH AN 'E' .. sorry just had to let that out
but anyway, yeah. the main issue is the fact that this changed midway from a character-driven story (which was lowkey INSANELY hard to do with events like this going down) to a simpler, easy-to-rush plot-driven story
either way im glad you at least enjoyed it if nothing else. i would probably have the same reaction as you if i blindly read this from start to finish. thank you so so much for the feedback and although "ugh lolitroy comments" is real u still carry the site im ngl
