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A random truck-kun appears bearing gifts of isekai!

registered at: Sep 27, 2019

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aaa

Jul 17, 2021

The descriptive narration and dialogue is where I think this story truly shines. It feels alive. It's immersive. You really feel like your there.
One thing that I've notice though is that you tend to lean very heavily on one or the other for a period of time. Your first chapter was magical. The following chapters, while good, get a little bogged down by the heavy dialogue. The swing between heavy narration and dialogue could be evened out. Pretty stellar writing regardless.

The Sequence of Kai

Chapter:4

Jul 17, 2021

To:rinka_desuu

Guess you understand why Pearlyn was warning you now lolol

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:8

Jul 17, 2021

To:cielink

Dr. Snazzy mode 😜

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:8

Jul 16, 2021

To:Gurg

DO IT!

Zero.

Chapter:13

Jul 16, 2021

At this point, I wouldn't have been surprised if Enteng just german suplexed the kid.

Zero.

Chapter:13

Jul 16, 2021

To:rinka_desuu

Thanks! I'm glad that we are in sync with the funness.

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:3

Jul 16, 2021

To:rinka_desuu

Kami-sama is a whimsical God. He does strange things at times.
(He's actually the same Kami-sama from one of my other novels. One where the MC was turned into a truck-kun.)

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:2

Jul 16, 2021

To:Pearlyn.M

This was the perfect reaction that I was hoping for. Thank you for being my guinea pig. Fufufufufu~

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:8

Jul 16, 2021

To:rinka_desuu

Just imagine. I had to tone that part down to make it appropriate for this contest. The original version was much worse. 😅

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:1

Jul 15, 2021

So far, the nice thing about this story has been the extra detail that given to the interactions and the characters. There's a lot to like about the amount of life you try to bring to each character, and the background that is established with each one.
One drawback that I am seeing is the relatively straightforward plot.

BLOODY BAT ROMEO

Chapter:4

Jul 15, 2021

To:Pentagram 3

I don't think it's an easy fix here. The writing itself doesn't feel so much like a story as it does say...a message board. It's full of things that start straying off the topic and become it's own thing. The best way for you to improve at this point would be to find something you read that you like, and try to imitate the style.

That Time I Died

Chapter:2

Jul 15, 2021

Honestly, this writing feels like someone talking about their day on discord. At times, there is a long, free-formed explanation. Other times, it's a spitfire of dialogue. It's messy. The humor is very much that which is used between friends with like interests. It falls flat to people outside of this. As for the plot, there is not really much to take note of. Things just happen. Not much flow.

That Time I Died

Chapter:2

Jul 15, 2021

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Thanks a lot for reading! Glad you enjoyed it!

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:7

Jul 15, 2021

To:Alyssa Aurinia

Actually, getting SWATed is a real possibility in the US. There's been many cases where they've been called to someone's home as a prank. And with how the country has been with police and violence, it's not out of the realm of possibility.

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:2

Jul 15, 2021

To:K-J-Whitten

I hope I can do that justice. Konosuba is comedy gold.

Why Kill? When Witches Can Be Tentacled!

Chapter:1

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