TheGreatZombini / Comments

TheGreatZombini

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Writing is a skill, and I constantly want to improve. I am excited to hear your criticism and learn from it.

registered at: Apr 21, 2025

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aaa

Oct 27, 2025

Empty facility, and none of them think maybe it’s trapped?!
Ame, if you’re going to be a terrorist, you need a little more foresight than that!
*gets shot for questioning our all-powerful leader Ame*

An Original Sin

Chapter:15

Oct 27, 2025

What a shame; I’d prefer that none would die…
It’s almost like Nell’s development has been stunted because of his only friends being unstable people.
(That and his startling lack of self-awareness sometimes; I swear it’s like he’ll have a revelation about himself and then immediately shove it away from his thoughts)

An Original Sin

Chapter:14

Oct 27, 2025

Ahh, Sy…
Don’t you know that those who forget history…
A r e d o o m e d t o r e p e a t i t

An Original Sin

Chapter:13

Oct 27, 2025

To:Anna Voig M.

Also, the problem isn't that he can't think of anything to do: it's about how anything he could do (including making the world better) would be a self-imposed goal that has no meaning beyond what he gives it.
It would be like buying yourself a " surprise present:" even if you go through all the steps of wrapping it up, hiding it away, and then giving it to yourself, at the end of the day, it has no meaning or intention beyond what you did. It's like talking to yourself.

The Great Priest is an Atheist?!

Chapter:25

Oct 26, 2025

To:Anna Voig M.

His age isn’t really established; but if I had to guess I’d say he’s about twenty-seven.

The Great Priest is an Atheist?!

Chapter:25

Oct 26, 2025

To:Anna Voig M.

I’m pretty sure I did type that; I’ll make sure to clarify that in my next novel, darn it

The Great Priest is an Atheist?!

Chapter:15

Oct 26, 2025

To:Zack Wilson

Thank you for your thoughts and succinct comments! I’m glad you found the final ‘fight’ cool! Happy trails with what you read next, and as Shinko would say,
“God bless!”

The Great Priest is an Atheist?!

Chapter:52

Oct 25, 2025

Uhhh...
I kind of thought Kaya was a little more stable than that...
(man this whole group really IS bad for your mental health)

An Original Sin

Chapter:11

Oct 25, 2025

To:Zack Wilson

You, my good man, are catching on!

The Great Priest is an Atheist?!

Chapter:28

Oct 25, 2025

Mah goodness.

The most mentally stable person in this book has been the nurse Nell first met.
and Dominic, but he's obviously got... some issues (looks at terrorist group).

An Original Sin

Chapter:10

Oct 25, 2025

"The wolf was female."
pfft
Also, Nell, remember what I said about terrorist groups being bad for your mental health?
Yeah that also applies to physical health.

An Original Sin

Chapter:9

Oct 25, 2025

To:hanayome

My writing teacher asked me the same thing about something I wrote, but he didn't tell me to 'Say it again,'
He told me that I just needed to make sure the information was stated clearly and displayed prominently if it was important.
The story is confusing sometimes, and so I'm not always sure what's important and what isn't.
I could have also just missed it, so don't fret too much!

An Original Sin

Chapter:7

Oct 25, 2025

Nell, you really shouldn't hang out with terrorist groups.
It's bad for your mental health in the long term.

An Original Sin

Chapter:8

Oct 25, 2025

I thought... I thought Ame's mom died when his dad hit her in the head with a chair?

An Original Sin

Chapter:7

Oct 25, 2025

hey Nell.

Don't go pokin' around in people's brains
they don't tend to like that :\

An Original Sin

Chapter:6

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