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Hello! I used to be on Honeyfeed way back then but had to retire due to some personal stuff. Now I'm back and I hope to enjoy all these brand new changes and new additions the page has to add.
You can find me at RoyalRoad as well!
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Jul 05, 2021
Nice intro, made me find the Hero a little annoying and rude, which is the point of the story and it really came across. I felt really bad for the Demon Lord at the end.
Hm, I have some qualms here. Take it as feedback ;; The formatting is all over the place, you have a great idea but the formatting just makes it hard to follow along. Your last segment of the story for example is all jumbled up together. Another thing, the part of (Shoya speaks to himself) is a bit unnecessary to be put in brackets since the story is already told from a third-person perspective. There are also some grammar and tense errors here and there, nothing proofreading couldn't fix! Good luck with the contest!
I enjoyed this a lot, a breath of fresh air with a slice of life with nekomimis and a mysterious school nonetheless. Looking forward to more, and good luck with the contest!
Brilliant start, action-packed since the beginning with interesting characters as well as nice chemistry with Dolly and Noah right off the bat. Seems there are many questions, but seeing how the chapter was quick-paced with action, I'm sure we'll reach the answers we're looking for! Good luck with the contest!
Looks very promising! Just one quick reminder, your "Themes" section has some issues. You chose the prompt Survivor Slaughter, and you have three themes that should not be in there, which are Mythology, Fantasy and Comedy. You cannot mix and match from other prompts, please fix this issue as soon as possible ><!!!
Jul 04, 2021
Hello! Please remove your novel, the contest has not started yet. It begins on July5th EST/EDT. If it has not been removed before this time, it will be immediately disqualified.
Hello! Please remove your novel since the contest has not started yet. It begins on July 5th EST/EDT. If your story has not been removed before this time, it will be automatically disqualified.
Hello! The contest has not started yet, please remove your story before July 5th EST Time or it will be immediately disqualified.
May 17, 2021
To:Anie_2490
Anie!! UWU!!! Thanks you!!! Hope you enjoy the ride!
May 10, 2021
Hm, I've been reading a lot of romance novels here lately and yours is good as well. However, I was a little confused in the summary and how things quickly escalated in this first chapter. Although, if we take it as a prologue of things to come, it's fine as it it! I find Red as a very selfish person so far though.
Oh that was a well executed ending, for a sec I foget there is a romance tag in here, haha. So far the world-building catches my attention a lot, as well as the writing. There are still many things left unknown, and I think that's good, giving the readers a little mystery to lean onto while reading.
May 09, 2021
To:Temoshi
You're welcome! And I'm not that influential nor inspiring, ha. But thank you for the compliment.
To:Deleted User
Thank you and welcome aboard!
I see, so this is the romance starting. However, what I would recommend is that since you are writing in third person, to put her thoughts in italics and then, if you want to add a comment from the omiscent view, to just add it as normal and not in parenthesis. I like Manon's surname, same as Reimu from Touhou! Keep it up!
For a school proyect, this doesn't sound bad. However, it seems like a mix of a script and narrative. I'll read the next chapter and give the story a chance ^^.
