May 09, 2021
Your writing has improved so much, I like seeing growth not only with the characters but with the writer as well! And that song you chose is tier-god level. I can hear the OG and all the covers inside my head, haha.
In any case, pretty interesting the way the chapter started, leaving questions that could or could not be answered in the next one. It could go multiple ways, such as being from Miyake's POV or Okumori's again, or take us all by surprise and be it from one of the other guys that are waiting at the mall.
It was nice to see Okumori being vulnerable in some way, even if it wasn't directly shown, it can be percieved he had a vulnerable moment he can't remember and that stresses him out as well, especially due to who saw him while crying.
