Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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Apr 15, 2024

To:Lihinel

Pretty much.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:6

Apr 14, 2024

Nice first chapter! At the beginning, I thought it seemed kinda standard, and then the floating island was introduced, and I ended up spending time researching how feasible that is, whether they actually wouldn't notice the island bobbing on the waves.

And then that heart skipping a beat line. I immediately thought, "But that's forbidden love!" My GL goggles activated, and then bam, there was the line. My headspace was so 100% in sync with Fuumi's that I really felt the disconnect with Sanada's next words. It was like I was experiencing the entire confession through Fuumi's POV.

And as to that confession itself, hilarious, though if I were the one making it, I definitely would not go into so much detail.

Urugano!

Chapter:1

Apr 13, 2024

To:Momentie

On average, girls have smaller hands and greater manual dexterity. They’re also more marketable.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:10

Apr 13, 2024

Height matters because they’re resource and budget constrained, so the ships and the ISS are smaller than the ones from our time. Originally, I was going to have them be middle schoolers, but the romance story felt too creepy that way. I’ll just say that they’re short, even for high schoolers.

They had a choice between teens and short adults, but went teen. Didn’t want to mix and match because the adults might get fed up having to babysit teens in space, and they had more short teens than short adults.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:10

Apr 11, 2024

7,500 words exactly.

the color of shattered dreams

Chapter:6

Apr 11, 2024

I'd put my money on a draw. Even if Remilia were 20 feet tall, the size difference between the two is still very large. Still, she's so fast that the Eva probably couldn't land a hit on her, but she's not getting through an A.T. field. There's really no way for her to win, and the only way she loses is if the Eva gets an extremely lucky hit.

And that's what I'd testify to under oath in the courtroom domain.

The end of the last chapter made me extremely nervous. Walking into the headquarters without backup could have gone very wrong. And now that the lackeys are behind bars, the boss could decide the deal has been broken.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:85

Apr 06, 2024

To:Momentie

Ah I see what you mean.

Erika's an exception. They don't allow hoshinauts that old normally.

Also, that should have been "more than ten years". Erika's actually way older than 26. That was a typo on my part. Thanks for catching that.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:4

Apr 06, 2024

To:Momentie

At this point in the story, Erika's real age and identity is a mystery. The other characters have hinted that they have a theory about who she is, but they haven't let the reader in on the secret.

But in officially, at eighteen, Sachiko is the oldest hoshinaut sent to space. They don't send adults. Erika is claiming to the public to be sixteen.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:4

Apr 04, 2024

To:Deleted User

Great analogy. It's *exactly* like that.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:2

Mar 30, 2024

I knew Elon Musk was evil, but I never thought he’d murder people for the sake of NeuralLink.

Definitely my favorite chapter title so far.

Magical Girl SNAFU - Two Facades

Chapter:29

Mar 28, 2024

To:Kirb

Thus the need to take Neo Tanegashima under her control. Even if the streaming services cut her off, they could still broadcast to the world.

But the streaming services probably didn't have their finger hovering over the ban button. It looked like a government-sanctioned commercial from their POV.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:17

Mar 27, 2024

tfw your crush tries to cripple you.

My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead

Chapter:82

Mar 25, 2024

In this chapter: mahou shoujo try and fail to create an anti-vax conspiracy theory.

Magical Girl SNAFU - Two Facades

Chapter:26

Mar 25, 2024

To:Kirb

I think it's safe to say that, Erika, Hina, and Yasu would agree with you there. Up to this point, I hope I conveyed that Sachiko's the only one who enjoys spending time with Maeko.

She's got no compunctions manipulating Hina and Yasu for her own goals, because she has no emotions. Even if she did, she knows they would do the same to her, if they had as clear an idea of what their goals were.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:16

Mar 25, 2024

To:Kirb

Thank you! Although to be honest, the number of views is deceptively high. Yeah, it says 21.4k on the front, but that's mostly the table of contents/summary page getting loaded. If you add up all the chapter views, it's 2,481.

Which is still great! I'm glad multiple people have enjoyed it. I really only started this to practice and experiment with writing prose that flows better, and I don't think I actually improved much until the end.

That said, I've been trying to figure out why the summary page keeps getting so many hits so I can put a stop to it and give up my place on the front page to stories that are getting more actual reads.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:14

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