Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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aaa

Oct 19, 2025

Sorry it took me so long to read this all, but most of all, congrats on finishing an entry for the isekai contest, and best of luck with the judging.

You executed on the theme you were going for well, and ended up with an emotional and thoughtful story. If I had one suggestion—and I thought the same thing about Mismatched Words—it always seems like such a shame that we see so little of these worlds that you obviously put so much thought into creating. Part of it is the short length of the stories, but I think part of it is a tendency to have your characters mostly respond to situations they're placed in and the events that befall them. It might be nice if your characters took a more active interest in achieving goals that required them to travel throughout the world, rather than have them stuck in one location for most of the story.

GRIP: Dragged Into Another World With You

Chapter:29

Oct 19, 2025

So I was going to comment that this is a really thoughtful and mature confession scene, and then you said the line at the very end.

I mean this in a good way. It was a well-timed emotional suckerpunch.

GRIP: Dragged Into Another World With You

Chapter:27

Oct 19, 2025

“his grip on Sayaka”

You said the line!

GRIP: Dragged Into Another World With You

Chapter:24

Oct 19, 2025

Absolutely brutal. I can’t imagine how much pain he must have been in taking a hit like that and healing it off.

GRIP: Dragged Into Another World With You

Chapter:21

Oct 19, 2025

To:FireFly Seia

You’re not overthinking it. It’s supposed to be uncomfortable. Erika’s a mystery, but she’s out of her depth in outer space and frightened. She’s looking for anything to make her feel safe, and being held by someone more muscular would do the trick. That’s why she’s entertaining something she knows is wrong. And Sachiko noticed she keeps looking at Hina’s arms that way and ordered Hina to use that to their advantage, something they both know is wrong.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:4

Oct 18, 2025

I guess the frangulnoa was a creation of the alternate universe authors?

The Ruby Oracle

Chapter:19

Oct 18, 2025

Piccolo: "It doesn't make a bit of difference guys. The book is inert."

In all seriousness, I saw some comments in other chapters from someone talking about your word choice. I don't want to offer unsolicited critical feedback, and I didn't read their comments too carefully, but I have to admit I did snicker at "virgin nose." I know exactly what you meant, but sometimes, I think being too high-minded in your descriptions can backfire on a low-minded internet.

The Ruby Oracle

Chapter:17

Oct 18, 2025

At some point, you gotta make sure you control the money, not the other way around.

Ribbons Apart

Chapter:14

Oct 16, 2025

He must have spent so much time worldbuilding for all the unimportant details he knows. It’s a wonder he had any time left over to write the actual stories.

The Ruby Oracle

Chapter:16

Oct 15, 2025

To:T.Goose

Every time you comment, I don’t have much to reply with, because you seem to always pick out the details that will be important in later parts of the story.

The Hoshinauts

Chapter:5

Oct 14, 2025

Every time I finish a chapter I go down to the comments box to make a “grip” pun, but someone’s already beaten me to it.

GRIP: Dragged Into Another World With You

Chapter:19

Oct 13, 2025

To:Nato_otan1

That’s the same joke I was going to make, but you got three first.

GRIP: Dragged Into Another World With You

Chapter:16

Oct 13, 2025

I'm glad you lampshaded the naming here, because I gotta admit, even this far in, I'm still having trouble differentiating characters by their strange names, especially the misfit triop.

The Ruby Oracle

Chapter:15

Oct 13, 2025

I used to be a clockwork monster until I took a meme to the knee.

The Ruby Oracle

Chapter:8

Oct 13, 2025

Socialist healing potions: From each according to his level, to each according to their… status condition?

I probably need to workshop that one a little more.

The Ruby Oracle

Chapter:5

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