Steward McOy / Comments

Steward McOy

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Hobbyist writer, attempting to improve. Criticism welcome.

registered at: Jun 26, 2021

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aaa

May 12, 2025

So the artifact was all built, but no one had turned it on?

Mismatched Words in a Lonely World

Chapter:36

May 12, 2025

To:haru

Thanks for reading to the end! And thanks for the review.

I think your reaction is pretty consistent with most other people who read it. When I outlined this originally, it was twice as long, and things were more spread out. It wasn't the fast up-and-downs of the emotional rollercoaster in the last 1/3 of the story. But I didn't have time to write it that way for the contest.

If I do another HF contest, I'll go with something less ambitious from the get-go.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:21

May 11, 2025

Any excuse to get naked. She might have been right about herself.

Mismatched Words in a Lonely World

Chapter:28

May 11, 2025

I wonder why the crystals in the cavern don't get infected by corruption. Maybe it has something to do with the thick mana concentration?

Mismatched Words in a Lonely World

Chapter:27

May 11, 2025

It was an appropriate question. He could have belonged to a chef's guild or something. It's kinda funny that He automatically thinks guilds means fantasy and adventurers.

And I bet people in this world were no different when it came to how cruel they could be.

Mismatched Words in a Lonely World

Chapter:24

May 10, 2025

To:haru

You know how cats are. They can start fighting at the drop of a hat. Especially if they don’t like each other.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:7

May 08, 2025

He’s really picking up vocabulary fast.

Mismatched Words in a Lonely World

Chapter:15

May 08, 2025

So I was thinking some sort of combination of cultural differences with what’s embarrassing and Val being alone sine she was a child, so she never learned shame. Obviously, she has parents, so there’s some kind of reproduction, and she has boobs, but now I’m wondering if there’s something physiologically different about people from this world. Nudity is fine, but pleasure from taste is embarrassing.

Mismatched Words in a Lonely World

Chapter:13

May 08, 2025

I've got a bad habit of reading a bunch of chapters without commenting, but I really like your take on the prompt here. Especially the chapters involved around Val helping Cael learn the language.

This is quite a twist, though it was hinted at earlier. I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Mismatched Words in a Lonely World

Chapter:11

May 07, 2025

Cool ducks.

Congrats on finishing, and best of luck with the judging!

GLINT

Chapter:14

May 05, 2025

To:Mara

When I first outlined it, it was related to Hoshinauts. (The next chapter takes place in the small verdant patch of land in Central Europe that Sachiko mentions during the Earth reveal.) However, because I entered this in the 2024 contest, I had to change that. The contest rules disallowed spinoffs. But, as I mentioned, I am a man with few ideas, and I like to recycle them so my research doesn't go to waste. So I changed some major details to make it incompatible with Hoshinauts.

In retrospect, however, I might have been too subtle about it. I don't know what the judges thought, but if they thought it was a spinoff, I could have been disqualified.

The only story I have that's directly related to Hoshinauts is Meipouchou. Sachiko's intelligence head and Erika's police chief are both from that series, but it's also a bit demented and the first book I ever wrote, so the writing is not as good.

One of my stories, The Cat-Eared Historian Mage on the Crumbling Planet, is one possible future arising from Sachiko and Maeko's decision in Hoshinauts. But I'm not sure if I canonically want it to be part of the same universe.

Neko Nuke Nightmare

Chapter:0

May 04, 2025

To:Himicchi

Robopon's a robot themed Pokemon knockoff from the late 90s, and Johnny is a robotic toilet with snail eyes emerging from the bowl.

Capmon: Cyan Seas Version

Chapter:30

May 04, 2025

When I saw we were going into Fire's uncle's place, I was fully prepared for this to turn into Robopon, and we'd get some more horrific Capmon version of Johnny.

Capmon: Cyan Seas Version

Chapter:30

May 02, 2025

OK. NOW congrats on finishing. And best of luck with the judging!

What is 'love' in Japanese, Iwasaki-kun?

Chapter:37

May 01, 2025

Congrats on finishing! (I think?) Make sure to mark the story as finished before the deadline, otherwise you’ll be disqualified.

(And you might want to remove the El Salvador joke. While I personally thought it was funny in a dark way, the mention of real-world politics might work against you.)

What is 'love' in Japanese, Iwasaki-kun?

Chapter:36

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