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I write original English light novels, YA, NA, contemporary fantasy, and sci-fi. Most of my work is heavily influenced by anime, manga, and Japanese storytelling.
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May 07, 2017
I like how the conditions of Rio's [Laws] are why Lucas has to abide by her terms. And the information on the [Renegades] is cool too.
I like how Rio speaks Japanese. It's a good touch using the actual letters too. And it looks like Lucas and Rio have a budding relationship in the works!
Mar 29, 2017
It's an enjoyable story so far. You've created an interesting world that has a lot of potential. There are a handful of typos, but nothing that really distracts from the story. The narration could use some improved clarification, and it probably wouldn't hurt to add a little more description to your environments. Other than that, it's not bad! I'm looking forward to see what happens with Lucas.
I liked this. It has a good ominous feel and is a heck of a hook for a story. I honestly tried to find something I didn't like and give you some constructive criticism ... but I failed to do so.
Mar 16, 2017
I like this. You have a good style and the story is fun. Your words play like an anime in my head!
I like the concept of this so far. Also, English may be your second language, but I know plenty of native English-speakers who can't write nearly as well as you ;)
Mar 09, 2017
This was pretty intense (in a good way) and rather well-written. I liked the fight scene descriptions, and I could very plainly envision an anime while reading along. In a nutshell, I liked it!
This is a fun story so far. I look forward to how Kudo manages his shyness and how his Class evolves. Keep it up!