Jun 14, 2017
After rereading it (and slower this time), I realize that I missed a couple details.
Chris's transformation threw me off, although you spelled it out. I must've missed that she also changed gender. :) Also, toward the beginning of Ch 3 you described Hope as "he" and "himself", but then you mentioned "gritted her teeth".
And for some reason, I didn't know that a budgie was a bird. I thought it was some kind of weapon. XD So I was a little confused by the new "avian friend".
So mostly, it was my bad for probably reading too fast. My only suggestion would be to elaborate more on Chris's darkness ability when she uses it ... it seems like a cool ability that could be fleshed out more descriptively. And it may just be your style of writing or technique for this particular story, but the pacing feels a little rushed to me. But for the most part, I like this story and the way you tell it.
