I'm a person with the aspiration of becoming an author one day. Creative writing is something I enjoy so I want to experiment as much as I can and give myself a unique style and look to my works.
I can't promise regular uploads so don't expect chapters to be released in quick, orderly successions.
Jul 24, 2023
Thanks. I wasn't sure how well it would be received. Glad to hear it connected with you!
May 10, 2023
This is quite a nice and bittersweet introduction. All the characters speak exactly how I imagine coming from the front cover. I do find the characters to be introduced a little too quickly, personally speaking. Perhaps giving them something, some action or moment, to introduce them could benefit the story greatly. But that is a minor--and subjective--criticism, so take it as you will.
May 10, 2023
Got to say this setting is interesting. A functioning gun for a moon? Sign me up. My only criticism would be the second-to-last chunk of speech from the Teakettle Collector. Comes across as exposition--though, I find the individual events really interesting and hope to see what truly happened.
Thank you for the rather peculiar read, and I shall add this to the reading list.
May 10, 2023
You've got some strong ideas here and play around with potentially striking images. Sometimes the imagery is a bit vague. The paragraph with "every traditional definition of aesthetic harmony" has tons of promise but I need some more concrete words of images before you introduce all these wonderful phrases ("aesthetic harmony" is such a good combo of words). Also, as a small nitpick and suggestion on my part, you could stick with giving the raw description indicating the contrast between Aris and their prior form. You could even pair that with the setting and how that also may create the contrasts between what is/was real/fake.
Anyways, it's a darn interesting idea. I look forwards to seeing more.
Feb 11, 2023
I wouldn't go as far as to say it's poetry. But if the reader thinks it is then so it shall be.
Nov 24, 2022
Good to see you trying out something a bit different than usual. No real complaints so far. I will give a minor piece of advice and say that whilst you've done well to show the stakes, the character narrating is doing so in past tense. If the narrator is giving a retrospective on a tense scene, it could be assumed that they make it out all fine and dandy, so to speak. The stakes that are set are good, but my own suggestion would be to present risks that could impact the narrating character in different ways.
I don't think I've seen many death game stories from you, so I'm interested in seeing where you go with this. If you make the most of the death game setting, the reader can really become invested. Do with my advice as you see fit: I'll keep reading, regardless, and I'll try throw more feedback at you, if I have any.
Nov 11, 2022
Gotta say, this chapter was pretty gripping. I think that the
Nov 10, 2022
As many as you are willing to make.
Nov 10, 2022
Every so often THC gets hit by a truck, goes on a whole isekai journey and manages to find its way back to us. It's a boomerang that hits you in the face with facts and logic.
Oct 24, 2022
Seems to be an overall improvement from the previous version. Good so far, but there is some inconsistency with the tense. You have the present day narration and the narrator's past thoughts too, so be careful otherwise it can be easy to mix them up. Otherwise, nicely done and I look forwards to the next chapter.
Aug 23, 2022
I think you did quite well here. The character's monologue was the star, you've improved a ton since MnD. Keep up the good work!
Jun 25, 2022
Good start and a good hook that's got me intrigued. I really like how you brought some scenes to life--the rust, especially, was described in a really fascinating way. Nicely done.
Jun 06, 2022
That dialogue was great and so were the characters. I'm intrigued and well played to you.