writingoreo

writingoreo

I have an expensive keyboard, and I don't what to do with it! [music playing]

registered at: Aug 01, 2021
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    Published Novel Level 2
    Published Chapter Level 6
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    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2021
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2022
    Participant - MAL x Honeyfeed Writing Contest 2023







    Aug 14, 2022

    To:Tomoyuki

    Yep, too many loose ends, too many details unresolved, too many overarching arces, but I had to end it here. Technically, an arc has ended. It's a shame Honeyfeed's limit is 5k or so words. I would have gone ten, or I can copy and paste, distributing the paragraphs to other chapters. But too late now. It would ruin the story.

    I'm sorry for a rushed ending. I really wanted to put more, and I know I haven't reached the contest's limit, but I had to follow the chapter naming schemes (I find it really important, go figure).

    I hope this ending is qualified for the contest lol. Feels like it's cut off, but I decided that this was an ending.

    Confession, the confession was real, but it was a half-assed confession----is what Amahiko thinks.

    That bullying will remain, but Yoshimura will be resolved albeit far into the future (maybe volume seven, idk). And it will get more out if hand.

    Other stuff I wanted to do: Put a secret code leading to a Google Docs that would be the 'secret' epilogue, but couldn't find opportunity.
    The 'Ryuu-Amahiko Code,' also will be known as the 'Dinnerplate Code' to be utilized, but word limit has cut it off (Will place after contest).
    Use the group names (FieldCamp) as some sort of secret message of foreshadowing (partially done).
    More Yoshimura bullying.
    Chinatsu-Yoshimura suspicions.
    More FieldCamp events.
    The mystery of the red stone.

    Yeah, that's about it. Sorry if I dumped info. I just felt like I needed to divulge to compensate for the ending.

    I'll post an afterword probably today/tonight, but I'll say it right now: Thank you for reading all the way, Tomoyuki!

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    0
    GLITGC Cover
    Good Luck in the Golden Classroom: The Golden Waltz
    Chapter:30


    Aug 10, 2022

    Coins have three sides, the last time I checked.

    Seems that I've caught up.
    It feels like after Rampaging Raven, the story has restarted in a sense. Correct me if I was reading the entire story wrong, but after Raven, this seems to be the story of James's past. If not, well shoot.
    Unfortunately, for a small brain like me, I haven't fully grasped the story and the direction it's going to. The theme is there. Best I can compare is to (maybe) Bunny Girl Senpai where teens have teen problems that affects physically. Here, I think it's real psychological behaviors caused by problems wearing a supernatural 'clothing.' As the novel seems to tell me, 'supernatural things don't exist,' I'm inclined to believe that it isn't (in this story).
    So, unforunately, I cannot evaluate the plot because, frankly, I don't get it, and I don't find myself relatable to any of those characters (a me-problem). But what I can say is that, I feel like the story is sporadic sometimes----it feels scattered when I read it----which is one of the factors I cannot grasp the story's message. It doesn't mean it's a bad book; it's just it's not for me.

    As for the technical points, there were spacing mistakes here and there but very few, easily forgivable and hard to spot when editing. Sometimes, I felt some phrases could be better compressed into a singular word, and sometimes some paragraphs needs to be expounded to enchance the vibe it was trying to achieve. The dialogues are a little bit unnatural. I found Ellie's to be a bit forced for her character. You could portray her character better with shorter and sharper words without needing to insert colloquial insanity. Claudia's dialogue at first was too 'professional' at first, and the ones in the later chapter portrayed her girlish character better. As for the narrator (was it James? Correct me), he was too dramatic sometimes that it felt like he was going in circles.

    That's it for my poor brain. I will not pretend to be smart; I have no idea how the story went or will go. I might have to reread when I become a bit more mature. That said, it would be a waste of a seemingly great story if you won't simplify it (by more exposition) for audiences who just don't get it.

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    1
    SupraNatural final cover
    SupraNatural
    Chapter:24