May 01, 2022
Holy crap, no exaggeration my jaw hit the floor half way through this - I honestly hadn't seen how you would tie all this together, coming - Genuinely made me smile, a really solid finally😄😄.
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As for the book as a whole, I don't have too much to add onto what I've said in other comments - In summary;
-Your descriptions are really good but rare, I'm often lost as to who each name belongs to.
- I love how you tell the story from lots of different perspectives, but some of those perspectives are definetly better then others😅😉.
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Additionally - Overall it's like I said before, this novel starts interesting, then gets pretty weak before suddenly a Tsundere catgirl and some 4d classroom chess comes in to safe the day!
I think what you could do to improve this greatly on future drafts, would be to try and establish the foundations a little stronger.
The books middle portion left me feeling lost becuase it was hard to tell what the goal was - The premise is some nerds ruinening each other's dates, which this final few chapters delivers on brilliantly - But in the middle it's pretty easy to forget that was ever the point😅.
To use a nuatical term, the book is like a boat with no anchor for 60%+ of the run - Stuff keeps happening, we learn backstorys, meet Anna & a demon etc but as the audience we have no idea why.
Then in these last five chapters you suddenly find the anchor under a pile of dvds, and boom the boat pulls into port with an epic 360 no-scope docking and it's awesome.
So ya, were I to redraft it I'd suggest making the middle feel more cohesive in some way so the audience doesn't feel confused/lost - While if possible still keeping the epic surpirze of this ending😎😁.
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As an aside I also think you have a real talent for descriptions - For a novel like this I can see why you generally didn't go too detailed on surroundings or character designs, however in your future novels I'd definitely encourage you to try something more 'visual', I think you'd do great at it!
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Again sorry I took so long to read it, I'm generally a slow reader and especially was these last couple months, but 'am back up to full speed now - So hopefully better late then never eh?😅😅.
Genuinely really enjoyed this fun little, goofy romp - It's got something alot of others struggle with on an anime based sight like this - Spirit!
Anime is known for its goofyest shows also being it's most sincere, for something as wacky as Gurren Lagann secretly harbouring mountains of depth, nauce and most of all fun - And I think you captured a bit of that goofy, fun spirit here for sure, I look foward to whatever you do next😊😊😁😁.
-Momentie 👋
