Momentie

Momentie

Hi there,
This is the former home of some of my novels, you can find them these days over on RoyalRoad!

registered at: Oct 14, 2021
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    Mar 31, 2022

    To:Ochroleucous

    I've been meaning to give my thoughts in more detail but I keep getting waylaid😅 - Once more I find myself late at night on my phone rather then pc, so unfortunately brief is all I got😂.

    Which is a shame cause I really wanna have a proper look at this arc - Sit down and have a re-read of the opening prologue, see how it all clicks together.

    In all honesty I don't particularly like reviewing webnovels, espically on a site with no edit-comment button or dedicated review tab - Becuase I feel I risk being arrogant or naïve with no way to refine my thoughts when something new inevitably comes to me a few hours after posting😅😅.

    For example my first passion is actually anime review rather then writing - And put bluntly 95%+ of the time I will not review a season of anime(or Tv, or more traditional books & light novels/manga in general) without having seen the whole show once if not twice, listened to the Ost seperate to the show and read what others reviews and opinions have to say - In order to get the complete picture ya know?

    Yet with webnovels I find myself giving little bits of feedback on an individual chapter, stuff that might be irrelevant if I had the entire picture, or just the context of one single extra chapter being read😂😂.

    So that said I honestly haven't decided yet my entire feelings on this arc - You mention the word 'Filler' in your note and that's an apt word here.
    Putting aside how loaded of a term it can be, its certainly one that has crossed my mind.

    See as of present your story strikes me as anime in style but western fantasy in format - So I ask myself, 'Would you call the hobbits travelling from the Sheier to the first eleven city in Lord of the Rings book 1, filler?' - Well the answer there is obviously No for a myriad of reasons I will refrain from pointing out.

    So do I think this 'arc 2' is filler?
    I kinda have to pass on the question for now if that makes sense😅.
    It's still slightly unclear, to me atleast, whether this book is prodimently character or story driven.

    In the case it's story driven, then there may be an arguement for this as filler - But then again it does alot for world-building.

    If it's character driven then it's definitely not filler and succeeds greatly in showing us new sides of out heros.

    __
    I think the best thing my sleep deprived mind can say right now in relation to this arc, having not given it due consideration yet and without full context of this story as a whole - Is that ultimately it made me smile.

    I smiled when the townsfolk came to wave them off, I smiled when Gywn refused to give up and said screw it to staying out of the fight - I smiled whenever old Gus or Adan were so much as mentioned😂.

    So if nothing else, much like the first arc, I have genuinely enjoyed the second - And as for the upcoming third?
    Well fuck we're going to Vegas baby, how could I not be looking forward to it😁😁!

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    1
    Resh Cover 2
    The Nonpareil of Resh (Act 1)
    Chapter:105






    Mar 25, 2022

    Nicely done once again.
    The use of body language is a great touch - I was able to pick up on it even before Jenna called attention to it, which suits the message well😊👍.

    Further the characters are engaging - Jenna as an almost Sherlock Holmes figure, whom like Holmes has gained a deeper insight about the world around her by simply changing her perspective of the world & in turn teaches this to our somewhat haphazard Watson in the form of Caleb - It was really fun to read😊.

    (If you haven't already, give the anime 'Gossik' a go some time - It's not advertised as such, but is one of my favourite Sherlock Holmes adaptations and really gets the original message alot better then many modern western adaptations😉😁).

    __
    Overall these short stories have been really great - I've enjoyed coming back every few days to indulge in whatever concept took your fancy at the time.
    All your ideas are fun, mostly commenting or iterating on stuff we as authors are familiar with - With that in mind I think the one on dreams is still my favourite, doing it in 2nd person was a great touch to put the reader (who is most likely a web-novel author themselves) into the boots of the protag.

    (Sorry for the short review, haven't been in the right headspace for long form recently😅😅).
    I'll be looking forward to seeing what else you post here in the future, I always love seeing authors experimenting outside of their normal genres😊👍.

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    1
    Kazemonogatari
    Chapter:5




    Mar 25, 2022

    Hmmmmmmmmmmmm;
    On the one hand I love the presence of a funeral, I think that's a great touch - On the other I have questions🤔.

    __
    The Queen, is well, a 'queen' not a consort - That implies this state should now pass to her unless she abdicates.
    If the intention is that this is like England where only one half is the ruler (ergo Queen Liz 2 is the current monarchy, her husband {rest his soul} was never the king and never would of been) - Then by proxy she isn't a queen.
    That said perhaps I'm comparing fantasy, to reality a bit to hard here😂😅.

    __
    Again I love the funerals existence but I think your framing of the king is a bit off.
    On the one hand sure, we saw the king as an antagonist and now this funeral possibly reframes that - Except does it?

    He was a bad dad from what we've seen, had a generally bad temper, runs a city with an active gladiatorial collosum, has villages under bandit control that he's not even aware of, etc etc.
    Other then hosting a peace conference that presumably all races take turns doing - He seems like a fairly high strung jerk😅.

    I can totally appreciate the act of showing a minor 'villian' like the king as actually being a nice guy from another perspective - But I'm not sure you really did enough to allude to that idea earlier on.

    __
    King Fio's comments are nice and I really like him being a casket bearer - Only issue is it does make me question why he didn't send a proper intelligence team after the assassin instead of our humdrum band of scalewag heros - If he cares for retalation so much, he's got a funny way of showing it - Or Alot of faith in our boi Odel😅😅😂😂

    __
    K I think that's all😂 - Congrats on 100 chapters btw 😁😁😊😊.

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    1
    Resh Cover 2
    The Nonpareil of Resh (Act 1)
    Chapter:102